The days leading up to coming out is full of emotion that bring out the worst in you. Anxiety creeps up on you and clouds your mind. Worry follows right behind and locks its grip on your heart. Doubt joins them and surrounds your lungs, making it hard to breathe every time you think about it. All of this over who you might lose in the process. But what's worse? Having someone close to you suddenly cut ties with you, or watching your friendship slowly fade away as if you were never close?
When you're in the closet, I think a lot of people are focused on worrying about these explosive outbursts and confrontations. Having someone act like they accept you when they really don't stings just as bad. It's worse when they think that being out means you've become some kind of predator that suddenly wants them.
They won't admit it directly, but they will in subtle ways.
"I don't want you to like me that way."
"I don't feel comfortable being in the same locker room with you anymore."
"You know I don't like you, right?"
"We're just friends. I'm making that clear right now."
"I totally accept that you like girls, but I don't."
"You're still my friend, but I don't like you that way."
Am I missing something here? Does being straight mean having some sort of attraction to every person of the opposite gender? Why is it different for me because I'm attracted to the same gender?
I came out to you. I didn't confess my undying love to you. There's nothing remotely close to those kinds of feelings. I came out because I thought you deserved to know the real me. I thought that you deserved to know the truth. I thought you would never judge me for who I am. I guess I was wrong.
Humayun's Tomb (New Delhi) | Humayun's tomb is a complex of … | Flickr
