I know you have passed on and there is no way for you to get this letter, but I hope you know that I miss you, so much. When you were here we created such wonderful and beautiful memories together. It’s so strange for you to not be here now. I often find myself thinking about you and recalling every moment we shared. It’s a painful and achy feeling in my heart that never leaves me. It’s covered up with today’s memories and fond thoughts of you, but the heaviness in my heart never fully leaves. You are missed by so many and I can’t help but feel as though you miss me too. It is only through the belief that I will see you again, be with you again, that I create new memories with you again.
If you were still alive I could tell you about my day and all of the adventures that I have been on. I would be able to share all of the knowledge I have learned along the way, and you would be so proud of me. Not only would you tell me how proud you are of me, but you would enthusiastically express it too. We always did have a special celebration of big moments in my life. But, now that you are no longer with us, I find myself having to relearn how to do everything we used to do together. If you were still here, I could tell you about my problems and you would share your wisdom with me. It would be my greatest opportunity of growth. But now, I have to remember that I am on my own for now.
When I think of you, I think of what you would do and say. I carry myself through life as though you are still here, sitting on my shoulder, guiding me along this path called life. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of you, though. If you were still here, I could visit you at any time and you would be so happy to see me, but I think I would be happier to see you. If you didn’t get called home to heaven, I know you’d be here with me all the time. There would be no doubt in my mind that our relationship and bond is special, like no other.
Had you still been here, I wouldn’t have pushed people away for fear of getting hurt. I would trust more and worry less because I would know I’d have you to go to at all times. I can’t promise my life wouldn’t still change, but the best part would be you here to witness it. My world is lonely without you, and even though I have had time to cope, I still grieve you. If you were still here, I would be happier and not lost because I would know you would always have my back. Going on without you is hard and I hate every minute of it.
But, if you were still here, I’m not sure that I would be as appreciative of you. I wonder if I would still think of that famous quote, “Live each day like it’s your last.” Ever since you have been called home, I have learned the value of each day we are given. While it isn’t the same without you here, I’m entrusting that this life lesson is you still giving me your wisdom.
See, if you were still here, I’d be in a different place. I wouldn’t be sad and I wouldn’t miss you during the special occasions and all the in-betweens because you would be there with me. I would have more time with you and we could make more memories together. But, I can’t be selfish anymore. You were called home to where you belong; with God and all the angels that earned their wings before us. I just hope you know that I love and miss you so very much.
