I’ve always been terrible with confrontation. I like people, I appreciate their presence in my life and the last thing I want to do is upset someone or stir up drama. But sure as the sun will come up tomorrow, I’ve changed.
As I have gotten older, I have begun to witness the selfish and destructive tendencies of humankind, the tendencies to put themselves before others. I call this "bulling:" being unnecessarily rude or difficult to others in order to generate personal pleasure or make your life easier. I’ve spent my whole life trying to figure out how to “shake it off” and get over the way people treat me. But no more! Why spend life attempting to soothe symptoms if you can attack the root issue? So, here is my battlecry to society: Stand up for yourself! Stand up for your friends! Stand up to injustice!
There is a show on ABC that has a tendency to hit heartstrings called “What Would You Do?” where a controversial scene is displayed, and everyday people are challenged with an unjust situation. From tackling racism, challenging homophobia and shifting ideas about immigration, this show forces us to confront ourselves, and truly ask ourselves what we would do, not what we hope we would do.
But injustice doesn’t always manifest in clear controversial situations. More often, situations are small, eating at your brain, unclear, and passive. We then face the ethical dilemma, call it out, or let it slide? The small comment about your friend, the harsh judgement about the coy girl in the corner, the subtle pass at your expense, the stubborn disregard for someone else’s wellbeing; all things we face and often ignore, letting bulling take over, letting individuals who choose to be rude and ignorant continue to do so. This is the issue, admitting to ourselves that what happened was wrong and that someone is hurt. No matter who is hurt, yourself, your friend, a stranger, they deserve better.
So, you have admitted it, that what happened was wrong, what happens next? Do you recognize it and say, “I’ll do something next time,” or do you confront the issue then and there. That is the problem, we give warnings, we allow people to make the same mistake repeatedly without consequence to the extent that it becomes habit. It has to stop. We have to learn to take action and call situations like we see them. Say something — it doesn’t have to be rude or cause drama, it can be private, kind, thoughtful, but mostly it is for everyone’s benefit.
Here’s the thing: we’re all guilty of it. No person sets out to be terrible, rude or unkind, it just kind of happens. I get that. But if we just let the small moments of bulling slide, we refuse to acknowledge the problem, to stop it from happening. All parties benefit from confrontation, issues are worked out, people are kind and thoughtful, we become more socially aware of others, more considerate. Confrontation is difficult, but without it, we are left to fend for ourselves, to writhe in hurt rather than love and kindness. Just call it out, be honest, be thoughtful, be aware. You’ll be surprised at the difference it makes.
