If you would have asked me a year ago where I saw myself in the next five years, I would have told you that I'd hopefully be married, living in Ohio, and working at a church.

Over the last year, God has molded my heart, stretched my faith, and revealed desires to my heart that I did not know existed. Throughout this year, God also supplied me with a man whom I grew to love deeply, whom I made future plans with, and even whom I made major location changes for. This man made my head spin. He gave me butterflies every time he brushed his hand against mine. He made my heart race and made me smile so big.

I gave this man every part of me. I loved this man with every bone in my body. I loved this man so much that even despite the mistakes we made… despite ways I was treated… despite ways I started feeling… despite the ways I started acting. I justified unholy actions to myself. I justified the red flags that were waved violently in my face. This led me to a hard slap in the face where I was treated unfairly and in the midst of it, I felt like it was simply a bunch of bologna as I sat in tears as the man I loved shattered my heart into a million pieces. I was not given much of an explanation, which led me to draw my own conclusions.

Flash forward to now, just a few weeks later in fact. God used that bologna reason to reveal the truth to me. What I truly needed, this man could not offer. What I wanted from him, he could not offer. However, let me be EXTREMELY clear, that does not mean he is a terrible person. It does not mean I hate him. It simply means he was not right for me. Even though our story started as a fairytale, it ended with pain and heartbreak. Luckily for me, it does not end there. Each day God has used my heartache to reveal so many lessons and that he was simply not right for me.

Ladies, I am talking to you! These are a few things I wish I knew about how a Jesus centered relationship SHOULD be before I was in one.

As I faced confusion and heighten emotion, my Dad gave me the sweetest words to cling to. He said, "We may have someone who appears right for us, but the one God wants for us will be perfect for us." Healing won't happen overnight and waiting for the perfect one is hard, but still, God is in the heartbreak.

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank you for heartbreak because in that heartbreak we can see your hand.

Amen

While my plans may have changed, my God never will. I no longer have a detailed plan for my future because I know my God has something way better than what I can draw up.

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