There are certain moments in each person’s life that they’ll never forget, moments that replay in their minds for weeks or months and stick with them for years. Moments that shape the person into who they’ll become, whether that be for better or for worse. No matter how much we regret and want to take these moments back, we can’t. But we can learn from them.

For me, this moment happened in the third grade. It probably isn’t an event that anyone else who was involved in remembers, but I do. In third grade, I ended up in a class without any of my friends, and like anyone else would, I tried to find another group of people I could stay with for the year. I tried to integrate myself into a group of girls I was already slightly acquainted with, and although I never truly felt like I was part of their clique no matter how hard I tried, at least I had people to talk to in class. I wasn’t alone.

When Julie first transferred into our class, I wanted to be her friend. Everyone did. She was pretty, smart, funny and one of the nicest people in the grade. We even talked a few times when I was trying to get to know her. I guess that’s why “my” group of friends started to hate her.

It wasn’t that everyone in the group hated her — it was only one girl, Kira. Everyone else, including me, just followed her like she was some sort of leader, though I’m not too sure why. I guess she hated that everyone else loved Julie so much instead of her.

When you’re in third grade, there isn’t much you can do against a person you dislike, but people always seem to find a way to bully. Kira decided to start a “I hate Julie” club as her form of bullying and expected the rest of the group to join her. She told us we could join if we wanted to, but the look in her eyes made me feel like she didn't mean it. When everyone else agreed tried to convince me, I really felt like I had no choice.

I’m not sure why I didn’t stop them or tell them that what they were doing was wrong. I don’t know why I didn’t tell the teacher but signed my name on their paper instead. Maybe I still wanted to be part of their group, or maybe I didn’t want a “I hate Rida” club starting either.

Julie eventually found out what we were doing when she overheard Kira talking to a few other girls about it and saw the "I hate Julie" sheet signed by Kira, me and the rest of the group. I don't think she hated us after that, but she didn't talk to me again after. She stuck with the rest of the class and avoided our group whenever she could. I felt terrible.

The guilt ate at me every time I saw her, but I was too embarrassed and ashamed to apologize to her until several weeks later.

I’ll never let myself forget what I did. In middle school, years after Julie told me she forgave me and we started talking again, I promised myself I wouldn’t forget the look of hurt and sadness on her face or the disappointment on my teacher’s when she saw my name on the list. A pang of guilt still hits me every time I think about it, just as strong as it was on that day.

This is one of the worst things I’ve ever done. Although I can never take back or fix, I can learn from it. Because that day, I learned that I should never hurt another, that I should stand strong for what I believe in and that I should never give in to peer pressure. I didn’t realize that was what it was at the time, but when you feel like you have to do something because another student says to, that’s peer pressure.

After this, I’ve gone through middle and high school acting cautious of the people I chose to befriend and the things I chose to do.

I now know what peer pressure looks like and that it’s better to be strong and turn away from it, but that’s not the case for many other kids. Peer pressure is strongest in middle and high school, and there are still kids struggling against it. For those who have never had an experience like mine, learn from it. Understand that it’s never worth it, and that you’ll never be happier than when you do the things that you know are right instead of obeying others.

And for those who have been through something similar, I hope you find the faults in your ways and try to right them. Use your wrongdoings as a reminder to keep making the right choices, but don’t punish yourself with them.

I don’t think what I did makes me a horrible person. I think I’m human — I make mistakes, but I learn from them and try to fix myself. And I try to tell others in the hope that they can learn from it without having to go through what I did.