“Just do what makes you happy”
A college student who doesn’t know the answer either.
It was one of those conversations. The ones that start off as a quick update and then take a quick plunge for the deep end. I was talking, well more like crying, to my best friend. Any freshman in college will tell you that your first year is hard. You struggle with finding your place, attempting to ‘adult’, and on top of that, obtain a decent GPA. As I confided in her about my latest struggles she advised me, “You need to make a list of things that make you feel grounded. Not happy, but grounded.” I was so confused. I feel as a millennial generation we have lodged into our head that the ultimate goal is to “Just do what makes you happy.” It’s the only advice we need. Maybe I’m the only one who thinks this, but I imagine this one line to success played out like an info commercial. Maybe one narrated by Morgan Freeman.
“Having a bad day?
You’re depressed?
You have no clue what to do with your life?
Don’t worry, I have the perfect solution for you. *cues dramatic music*
Just do what makes you happy!”
Bam! Lights fade, curtains draw, and of course now we spend the rest of our college years yearning to find the perfect “thing” whether it’s a career, a person, or a commodity such as money to make us happy. However, this question that my friend imposed on me made me think that maybe as students the satisfying feeling that we’re searching for and expect out of college isn’t feeling happy, but grounded, and the secret to our discontentment is that we’re seeking the wrong prize. To me, feeling grounded is to feel connected. It makes me feel like myself even if I can’t even describe who that is. It took me some time to respond to her question and decide what cultivates this feeling of being grounded, but as I meditated on it I discovered four main factors:
- Singing
- Going to church, praying, meditating, etc.
- Journaling/Writing
- Talking to my Family
Now, each of these activities are on here for different reasons. Singing will instantly make me feel. Sometimes it will make me happy, sad, or nostalgic, but it makes me feel. Going to church, praying, meditating, etc. challenges and supports my soul, while journaling and writing reminds me that I have a voice. When I open myself up to my family they always show the support I need. These simple, yet important actions make me feel grounded.
You see, I agree that happiness is essential to life, but I don’t think we can find that inner peace we crave in just happiness because realistically life is not always in a state of happiness. It’s a delicate dance between gut retching sobs and laughter that will knock the breath out of you. Basically an average day of college. However, at a moment’s notice I can become grounded no matter the mess life is presenting to me. At first, being grounded seemed like such an odd concept, but once I realized that you live day by day, it now seems like the only solution.
