*WARNING: Spoilers to 13 Reasons Why will be mentioned, and this also talks about rape and sexual assault. Proceed with caution*
If you've watched 13 Reasons Why you know who Bryce Walker is. One of Liberty High's star athletes, and one of the most popular guys in his class, you'd think Bryce isn't a bad guy - he's just egotistical and thinks he can get whoever he wants at any given time. Throughout the season, we find out just how wrong we are - Bryce is an awful, disgusting human being who doesn't know what consent is. He doesn't pay any mind if a girl says "yes" or "no," because to him, there is no difference between rape and regular sex. Throughout the episodes, we learn he has for sure raped Jessica and Hannah and may have hinted at taking advantage of more girls. "If you want to call it rape, call it rape. Same difference." If that quote, or that whole scene between Clay and Bryce, didn't make you sick to your stomach, I don't know what to say.
The sad, sick, truth of it all is that there are some people who truly believe these things. They believe that if someone gets in a hot tub with you if someone likes your photo on social media, if someone smiles at you while passing through the hallways, that someone wants to have sex with them. There are people who will take advantage of those who are under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. There are people who won't take "no" for an answer and either a) force themselves on the other person, or b) harass, bully, or physically hurt the other person. There are people who don't think rape is REAL, but that it's "just a way to play a regrettable one night stand off." Because, to them, consent doesn't matter. They will take what they believe is theirs, and won't feel a pang of guilt for stripping someone of their humanity.
According to rainn.org, there are 321,500 victims of rape and sexual assault each year in the United States. On average, 321,500 people, ages 12 and up, are raped and sexually assaulted each year. They are taken advantage of, are beaten down, stripped of their humanity, and then blamed for their assault. Let's not forget the golden questions people receive when they admit they were assaulted: "Well, what were you wearing?" "How much did you have to drink?" "Did you lead them on?" "Did you tell him yes and then say no?"
Does it matter what they were wearing? No, it doesn't. It doesn't matter if they were wearing the tightest dress or the shortest shorts. Because guess what - people have been raped and sexually assaulted while wearing sweat pants, pajamas, jeans, long sleeved shirts, skirts, the list goes on and on. It is not the victim's fault for wearing something they felt comfortable in. It is the assaulter's fault for putting their hands on someone without consent. Does it matter what they were drinking? No, it doesn't. It doesn't matter if they were completely sober or drunk off of their ass. When under the influence of alcohol, you are not in the correct state of mind to give a consensual answer anyhow, and if someone takes advantage of you while drunk, that's not the victim's fault. Does it matter if they led someone on? No, it doesn't. Maybe they were sending friendly signals that were interpreted as romantic signals. Maybe they did send romantic signals but then decided against it. Whatever the cause, the victim is not at fault. Does it matter if they changed their mind once things because of a little more serious? No, it doesn't. Because no means no. It means stop, it means do not proceed, it means do not force someone into a situation they don't want to be in.
To all the Bryce Walkers in the world, whether you're a male, female, or anything in between, I hope you seriously learn what consent is. I hope you realize that you cannot take advantage of another human being and break them down until they feel nothing. I hope you realize that you are the scum of the earth and that you can't have everything you want in life because that's not how it works. If your partner says no, then stop and respect their wishes. Don't take advantage of them, don't hold them down just to have a quickie. One day, you'll get what's coming to you.
Too often, we see rapists getting off with little to no charge because we blame the victims instead. Let's change that. It's not the victims fault that they were raped - it is the assaulter's fault for forcing something to happen to another person without consent. Be a decent person. Stop victim blaming and victim shaming. It's not their fault.
If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted and needs help, please visit 13reasonswhy.info.
