My Dear Angel,
Life is extremely short. I know for you, life feels like it is dragging by. The reason why I write you letters is not to make you cry. It is not to show how sweet I am. It is because I feel like time is quickly escaping me and that I will never get to tell you all the things that I desperately want you to know. So there is a reason why I write you. The Lord laid it on my heart a couple of years ago to write you every other month, but it soon became every month. Now it's becoming every two weeks. I absolutely love writing to you. It brings me so much joy to write to you. The day you came home from the hospital, you changed my heart. You changed how I viewed people with special needs. Angel, you are constantly changing how I see you.
For the longest time I was very angry with God. I was angry with God for many years. Let me explain — my anger and the main reason why I was so upset was because I didn't fully understand. I didn't understand why you had to have so many surgeries, numerous surgeries that caused you pain. I didn't understand why God would allow this to happen to you at such a young age. My confusion soon led to anger, and my anger soon led to resentment. My resentment soon became blinders for me. I was not seeing all that the Lord was doing in your life. I always thought there was a machine that could transfer body parts to another body. (Remember, I was 12 when I thought of this.) I was so willing to give you my legs so that you could one day you could walk. The Lord told me, "Hayden, Angel does not need the strength of your legs to make her who she is. She has the strength of her creator, and that is what holds her up. Knowing that she is perfectly created, is the strength that lives inside your sister."
I was so focused on your trials and circumstances, that I was neglecting the gift that was you. You have always been the gift.
When I had the chance to see you crawl on your knees, for the very first time... that was a gift. The time I got to see you walk down the hall in your braces... that was gift. The time I had the honor of being your prom date... that was gift.
There are so many more gifts that I have witnessed and that I will cherish forever. Angel, these gifts have obliterated my anger. I am no longer angry or resentful. I am hopeful in the work that he is doing in your life. You have not only brought hope into my life, but you have also brought joy. Think about it. Through your impact on my life, the Lord has not only restored my joy, but he has restored my faith and my hope. Angel, You are truly encouraging! We have all known what it is to be discouraged. And we all know people who are in great need of encouragement. I know people who are battling hopelessness and despair. They desperately need the gift of encouragement — someone to give them courage, hope, confidence, and comfort. Angel, you are that person! You are the light that shines in the darkness of despair, you are courageous during times of fear, and you are hope when everything seems hopeless. You have taught me how to help and love people who are special. I have learn so much from you these past eighteen years. I am so thankful for that. But as your older brother, I have some things I have prayed for you. There will be days when you are in the valley, and I hope this letter encourages you, little sister. This what I pray.
1. When You Are In The Valley, God Walks With You.
When I say valleys, here is what I mean; there will be good days and bad. there will be trials that you will go through, and sometimes everything will look bleak and hopeless. There will also be times of joy and happiness. No matter what season you are in, My God is with you. He walks with you daily. My God cries when you cry. My God laughs when you laugh. God will never leave or forsake you, Angel.
2. That The Lord is Greater Than The Worries In Your Life.
I want you to know that no matter what storm you face, I pray you know that God is far greater. He will always come through for you. He will calm your storms. He has the power to calm oceans, even when they are raging. He has the power to calm your worries and problems.
3. That The Lord is Stronger Than The Burdens You Have.
No one knows what you go through. I as your brother will never understand what you go through. My God knows. My God understands. I pray you hand over everything over to Jesus. All your worries and burdens, He is strong enough to carry them. He is strong when we are weak.
4. That The Lord Is Your Constant Joy.
I hope you know that you will never be happy, you will never find contentment until you fall in love with Jesus! He is your joy, peace, love and contentment.
I love you with all my heart!
Hayden (Hay)
