"I will fight your fight, I will hold you tight, And I won't let go." The first time I heard this song, I cried because it reminded me of my brother Bryce and I.
I was eight when my life changed. No longer did I have the option to be a "kid" and not worry about anything.
My brother Bryce was born in 2005, a month before I turned nine. Our family learned early on in my mom's pregnancy that he had Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome with intact atrial septum. His chances of surviving were slim, but he was a miracle baby; he was a fighter. If he was born anywhere else but Children's Hospital of Boston, who knows what would have happened; they saved him.
For the longest time I stayed strong. I rarely cried, told everyone I was fine and became extremely closed off. I didn't know how to talk to anyone about how I felt; about how afraid I was that one day my mom would call me and say he passed away. It didn't matter how often we fought, I loved him unconditionally and would be by his side whenever he was in the hospital holding his hand.
No matter what Bryce went through, he was happy. He may have spent most of the first few years of his life in the hospital, but he captured the hearts of everyone who came in contact with him there.
In 2010, he received his Make-A-Wish to meet Derek Jeter and the Yankees. Meeting Derek Jeter made him incredibly happy, and seeing him that happy, melted my heart.
When Bryce went through the process to get a picc line, he had to have a nurse come once a week to change the dressing. During the summer, I was babysitting him and my youngest brother Bryan. I would sit by Bryce's side and hold his hand because it wasn't a comfortable process to get it cleaned. Eventually, he started doing it himself and the nurse would watch.
When Bryce was eight, he finally received the heart transplant he so badly needed. My family and I are extremely grateful for the family that selflessly donated their child's organs during such a heartbreaking time. This family is the only reason my brother is still alive and there's not a day that they don't cross my mind.
I could still tell you everything about when he got his heart. I remember barely sleeping the night before it happened because we didn't know when they were going to say that the heart arrived. Saying goodbye to him before the transplant wasn't easy. It was one of those times where you didn't know if he was going to come out. When I was told that his heart started beating, I was already on my way home from the hospital with my best friend. Those weeks that he spent in the hospital were extremely hard.
Now, Bryce is an extremely energetic kid. He runs without losing his breath, he's almost my height and he's only on anti-rejection medications. Sadly, I rarely get the chance to hold his hand because we are now "normal" siblings.
We fight, we love each other occasionally, and we miss each other when I'm at college but never admit it. Without Bryce, I don't know where I'd be. Bryce is my role model; he's what keeps me going. He is why I strive to go above and beyond what I'm supposed to do. When it comes to everything, I just want to make him proud.
It doesn't matter how old he is, I won't let go of his hand.
