11 Quotes From 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' That You Need To Hear Right This Minute

11 Quotes From 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' That You Need To Hear Right This Minute

Try not to laugh too hard, Scully.

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"Brooklyn Nine-Nine" is one of the hottest new comedies facing television today, with quirky characters, amazing humor, and a plot that only gets better with time. The humor of this show cannot be stopped, providing fans around the globe with quotes that keep everyone laughing. Here are some of the best quotes from the Nine-Nine.

1. "Let me tell you something about Tinker Bell. Tinker Bell is a loyal lieutenant and a real thorn in the side of Captain Hook."

Good ole Tinker Bell!

2. "Look, I didn't spend the last seven years watching your love ripen, only to have it sullied by a city hall wedding. You're getting married right here, right now."

Charles is the ultimate BFF!

3. "My Nana always said, "Bad news first because the good news is probably a lie." Fun fact: she made me cry a lot."

I love fun facts!!

4. "Are you blackmailing me? I don't have any money, Hitchcock. I'm still paying my uncle's funeral bills. I rear-ended the hearse. It was a mess."

Good one.

5. "He should already think you're great. Like with my dad. He doesn't need me to prove to him that Jake Peralta's the best cop in the precinct, he knows it."

What. A. Guy.

6. "You're useless. You are completely useless. You are, without a doubt, the most incompetent detectives I've ever seen. And I am including that bomb sniffing dog that humps all the bombs."

Sad stuff, my dudes.

7. This conversation between the best buds

Boyle: I know you think my judgment's clouded because I like her a little bit.
Jake: You doodled your wedding invitation.
Boyle: No, that's our joint tombstone.
Jake: My mistake.


8. "Hell, yes. It's like a Bonnie Raitt concert in here."

PARTY TIME

9. "Yeah, I'm my own worst enemy."

What a mood.

10.  "If anything happens to Jake, I'll never forgive myself. My last words to him were, "No, you're the man."

You ARE the man, Jake, but it would be sad for those be the last words you hear from Charles.

11.  "No, there's no one in my life. *wink* Sort of a sad thing to wink about, I realize now."

Sad stuff, man, sad stuff.

"Brooklyn Nine-Nine" is hilarious, and I highly recommend you watch it!

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75 Of The Most Iconic Vine Quotes

"I smell like beef"

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Vine may be dead but Vine references live on. I still watch Vine threads AT LEAST twice a day. Here are 75 of the most quotable vines:

1. "Ooooooo, he needs some milk."

2. "Hi, welcome to Chili's."

3. "It is Wednesday, my dudes."

4. "Country boy, I love you ahhhwweelhwh..."

5. "Escalera oooooooaaaa!"

6. "F**k ya chicken strips!"

7. "Barbecue sauce on my titties."

8. "Gimme your F**KING money!"

9. "That was legitness."

10. "Ms. Keisha, MS. KEISHA! Oh my f**king God, she f**king dead."

11. "Fre-sha-vocado."

12. "Staaaahp! I coulda dropped my croissant!"

13. "That's my OPINION."

14. "You're not my dad, ugly ass f**king noodle head."

15. "What the f**k, Richard."

16. "This bitch empty, YEET!"

17. "Road work ahead? Yeah, I sure hope it does."

18. "What up, I'm Jared I'm 19, and I never f**king learned how to read."

19. "Um, I'm never been to oovoo javer."

20. "My God, they were roommates."

21. "Why are you running, why are you running?"

22. "Whoever threw that paper, your mom's a hoe."

23. "I can't swim."

24. "Lebron James."

25. "It's an avocado, thanksssss..."

26. "Mother trucker dude, that hurt like a butt cheek on a stick."

27. "Watch your profanity."

28. "I love you bitch, I ain't never gonna stop loving you, biiiiiitch."

29. "What are thoooooose?"

30. "I smell like beef."

31. "You better stop."

32. "What the F**K IS UP KYLE?"

33. "Come get y'all juice."

34. "Two bros, chilling in a hot tub, 5 feet apart cause they're not gay."

35. "So you just gonna bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift?"

36. "I wanna be a cowboy, baby."

37. "Why you always lying?"

38. "Nice Ron" "I sneezed, oh, what, am I not allowed to sneeze?"

39. "I'm washing me and my clothes."

40. "Honey, you've got a big storm coming."

41. "XOXO, gossip girl."

42. "Shoutout to all the pear."

43. "A potato flew around my room before you came."

44. "Chipotle is my life."

45. "Look at all those chickens!"

46. "YOU BETTER STOP."

47. "I like turtles."

48. "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life, watermelon, INSIDE A WATERMELON."

49. "Deez nuts, HA GOT EM?"

50. "F**k you, I don't want no ravioli."

51. "21."

52. "I'm in my mum's car, broom broom."

53. "Iridocyclitis."

54. "You know what, I'm about to say it."

55. "That is NOT correct."

56. "Uh, I'm not finished" "Oh my God, can you let me do what I need to do?"

57. "I have osteoporosis."

58. "ADAM."

59. "Merry Chrysler."

60. "Wait a minute, who ARE you?"

61. "Try me, bitch."

62. "When will you learn, THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?"

63. "I didn't get no sleep cause of y'all, y'all not gone get no sleep cause of me!"

64. "Do you want to go see Uncle Cracker or no?"

65. "So no head?"

66. "You got eczema."

67. "I am shooketh."

68. "Hey my name is Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow."

69. "Can I PLEASE get a waffle?"

70. "There is only one thing worse than a rapist." "A child."

71. "Ah f**k, I can't believe you've done this."

72. "Bitch, I hope the f**k you do."

73. "Two shots of vodka."

74. "F**k off Janet, I'm not going to your f**king baby shower."

75. "JEEEEEZ, Jesus Christ."

Cover Image Credit:

Vine/Katie Ryan

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15 Maggie Smith ​'Downton Abbey'​ Quotes To Get You Pumped For The Upcoming Movie Premiere

Oh, Maggie Smith, how we miss your sass.

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Let's be honest, "Downton Abbey" is one of the greatest TV shows of the last 10 years. There, I said it. Whether it was their blissful romances or heartbreaking tragedies, Downton had us enthralled for 6 seasons and now we are finally getting what we didn't know we needed, a "Downton Abbey" movie. Now we will be #blessed again with all the gloriousness that is Maggie Smith, from her amazing attitude to her unforgettable one-liners. The Dowager Countess of Grantham always had the best quips and I'm sure there will be plenty more in the upcoming film. To celebrate that fact, I took the liberty of compiling her greatest quotes. You're welcome.

1. "What is a weekend?"

Sometimes I ask myself that very same question, Maggie.

2. Isobel: "Oh how you hate to be wrong."    Violet: "I wouldn't know, I'm not familiar with the sensation."

Hands down, best line in Downton Abbey history.

3. "In my day, a lady was incapable of feeling physical attraction until she had been instructed to do so by her mother."

Wow, that's a lot of sexual repression.

4. "I know several couples who are perfectly happy. Haven't spoken in years."

Albeit a rather untraditional take on marriage, but whatever floats your boat.

5. "All of life is a series of problems which we must try and solve, first one and then the next and then the next, until at last we die."

Ahh Maggie Smith, always the optimist.

6. "I'm so looking forward to seeing your mother again. When I'm with her, I'm reminded of the virtues of the English."

Giphy

The rivalry between Maggie Smith and Cora's American mother, Shirley McClain, was one for the ages.

7. "You're a woman with a brain and reasonable ability. Stop whining and find something to do."

A valuable lesson for us all.

8. Cora: "I take that as a compliment."        Violet: "I must have said it wrong."

Cora you better grab some aloe vera because you just got burned.

9. "I was right about my maid. She's leaving to get married. I mean, how could she be so selfish?"

I don't think there is one person in the world that didn't laugh at this line.

10. Cora: "I think Granny's right."           Violet: "Could somebody write that down?"

No one loved to be proven right more than the Dowager.

11. "Lawyers are always confident before the verdict, it's only afterwards they share their doubts."

Damn right Maggie, damn right.

12. "You know me: never complain, never explain."

A motto for us all.

13. "Vulgarity is no substitute for wit."

T-R-U-T-H!

14. "I am a woman Mary, I can be as contrary as I choose."

Preach it Maggie, preach it!

15. Isobel: "Servants are human beings too."            Violet: "Yes, but preferably only on their days off."

LOLZ.

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