11 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' Quotes

11 Quotes From 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine' That You Need To Hear Right This Minute

Try not to laugh too hard, Scully.

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"Brooklyn Nine-Nine" is one of the hottest new comedies facing television today, with quirky characters, amazing humor, and a plot that only gets better with time. The humor of this show cannot be stopped, providing fans around the globe with quotes that keep everyone laughing. Here are some of the best quotes from the Nine-Nine.

1. "Let me tell you something about Tinker Bell. Tinker Bell is a loyal lieutenant and a real thorn in the side of Captain Hook."

Good ole Tinker Bell!

2. "Look, I didn't spend the last seven years watching your love ripen, only to have it sullied by a city hall wedding. You're getting married right here, right now."

Charles is the ultimate BFF!

3. "My Nana always said, "Bad news first because the good news is probably a lie." Fun fact: she made me cry a lot."

I love fun facts!!

4. "Are you blackmailing me? I don't have any money, Hitchcock. I'm still paying my uncle's funeral bills. I rear-ended the hearse. It was a mess."

Good one.

5. "He should already think you're great. Like with my dad. He doesn't need me to prove to him that Jake Peralta's the best cop in the precinct, he knows it."

What. A. Guy.

6. "You're useless. You are completely useless. You are, without a doubt, the most incompetent detectives I've ever seen. And I am including that bomb sniffing dog that humps all the bombs."

Sad stuff, my dudes.

7. This conversation between the best buds

Boyle: I know you think my judgment's clouded because I like her a little bit.
Jake: You doodled your wedding invitation.
Boyle: No, that's our joint tombstone.
Jake: My mistake.


8. "Hell, yes. It's like a Bonnie Raitt concert in here."

PARTY TIME

9. "Yeah, I'm my own worst enemy."

What a mood.

10.  "If anything happens to Jake, I'll never forgive myself. My last words to him were, "No, you're the man."

You ARE the man, Jake, but it would be sad for those be the last words you hear from Charles.

11.  "No, there's no one in my life. *wink* Sort of a sad thing to wink about, I realize now."

Sad stuff, man, sad stuff.

"Brooklyn Nine-Nine" is hilarious, and I highly recommend you watch it!

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75 Of The Most Iconic Vine Quotes

"I smell like beef"

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Vine may be dead but Vine references live on. I still watch Vine threads AT LEAST twice a day. Here are 75 of the most quotable vines:

1. "Ooooooo, he needs some milk."

2. "Hi, welcome to Chili's."

3. "It is Wednesday, my dudes."

4. "Country boy, I love you ahhhwweelhwh..."

5. "Escalera oooooooaaaa!"

6. "F**k ya chicken strips!"

7. "Barbecue sauce on my titties."

8. "Gimme your F**KING money!"

9. "That was legitness."

10. "Ms. Keisha, MS. KEISHA! Oh my f**king God, she f**king dead."

11. "Fre-sha-vocado."

12. "Staaaahp! I coulda dropped my croissant!"

13. "That's my OPINION."

14. "You're not my dad, ugly ass f**king noodle head."

15. "What the f**k, Richard."

16. "This bitch empty, YEET!"

17. "Road work ahead? Yeah, I sure hope it does."

18. "What up, I'm Jared I'm 19, and I never f**king learned how to read."

19. "Um, I'm never been to oovoo javer."

20. "My God, they were roommates."

21. "Why are you running, why are you running?"

22. "Whoever threw that paper, your mom's a hoe."

23. "I can't swim."

24. "Lebron James."

25. "It's an avocado, thanksssss..."

26. "Mother trucker dude, that hurt like a butt cheek on a stick."

27. "Watch your profanity."

28. "I love you bitch, I ain't never gonna stop loving you, biiiiiitch."

29. "What are thoooooose?"

30. "I smell like beef."

31. "You better stop."

32. "What the F**K IS UP KYLE?"

33. "Come get y'all juice."

34. "Two bros, chilling in a hot tub, 5 feet apart cause they're not gay."

35. "So you just gonna bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift?"

36. "I wanna be a cowboy, baby."

37. "Why you always lying?"

38. "Nice Ron" "I sneezed, oh, what, am I not allowed to sneeze?"

39. "I'm washing me and my clothes."

40. "Honey, you've got a big storm coming."

41. "XOXO, gossip girl."

42. "Shoutout to all the pear."

43. "A potato flew around my room before you came."

44. "Chipotle is my life."

45. "Look at all those chickens!"

46. "YOU BETTER STOP."

47. "I like turtles."

48. "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life, watermelon, INSIDE A WATERMELON."

49. "Deez nuts, HA GOT EM?"

50. "F**k you, I don't want no ravioli."

51. "21."

52. "I'm in my mum's car, broom broom."

53. "Iridocyclitis."

54. "You know what, I'm about to say it."

55. "That is NOT correct."

56. "Uh, I'm not finished" "Oh my God, can you let me do what I need to do?"

57. "I have osteoporosis."

58. "ADAM."

59. "Merry Chrysler."

60. "Wait a minute, who ARE you?"

61. "Try me, bitch."

62. "When will you learn, THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?"

63. "I didn't get no sleep cause of y'all, y'all not gone get no sleep cause of me!"

64. "Do you want to go see Uncle Cracker or no?"

65. "So no head?"

66. "You got eczema."

67. "I am shooketh."

68. "Hey my name is Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow."

69. "Can I PLEASE get a waffle?"

70. "There is only one thing worse than a rapist." "A child."

71. "Ah f**k, I can't believe you've done this."

72. "Bitch, I hope the f**k you do."

73. "Two shots of vodka."

74. "F**k off Janet, I'm not going to your f**king baby shower."

75. "JEEEEEZ, Jesus Christ."

Cover Image Credit:

Vine/Katie Ryan

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The 5 Different Fans You'll See In At The Theater For 'Avengers: Endgame'

Other than spoiling the kinds of fans that are inevitably going to disrupt the movie by FaceTiming their grandma to watch the movie with them, there are no spoilers in this article, don't worry.

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With the fourth installment of the "Avengers" films, "Avengers: Endgame" being released recently, you might want to know what you're getting yourself into before you see it. And I'm not talking about what you'll be getting yourself into in terms of the heavy emotional toll the hours of crying yourself to sleep will have on you, I'm talking about how to prepare yourself for who might be your possible neighbor in the audience for the movie.

1. The Total Geek

Everyone knows the guy who shows up to the latest comic book movie all decked out in a Captain America jumpsuit carrying a huge metal shield to the movie's opening night. Expect lots of those.

2. The Clueless Hipster Who Goes For The Hype

The dude who shows up and has absolutely no clue what's going on in the movie, but will tell everyone it was his favorite film ever. And yeah, he'll use the word film.

3. The Family Of 5

This fan group will usually show up five minutes before showtime and expect to get five seats all together in the best spot. Sorry to break it to you, Collins family, but your asses (no matter how American) are getting separated.

4. The Angry Middle-Aged Single Man Who Shushes Everybody

If someone laughs for too long at a funny scene, this angry 38-year-old single man will start hollering at them to shut up, which is even more disruptive than someone yawning quietly.

5. The Father/Mother/Grandma/Sibling Who Was Dragged Along

As someone who is too cripplingly insecure to go to a movie alone, in the past I've asked my dad to come see movies with me. After he puts up a big fight, we eventually go together. You'll see tons of awkward people sitting in the audience who have no interest in the film and are only there because they were dragged there by another person.

Before you go see "Avengers: Endgame," you should prepare yourself in many ways, one of which is who you might end up sitting next to.

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