Research finds that at least 50 percent of first marriages will end in divorce, and the rate only continues to grow for second and third marriages. Maybe your parents never married though, you only ever knew one parent. When someone stops to pity your troubles remind them why you're prepared for the real world more than they may be.
1. Broken families teach independence
Your parent or guardian was always dealing with something dramatic so you needed to find ways to be one less burden to them. You got yourself up for school and you made your own breakfasts. On the weekends, if Mom or Dad couldn't find a babysitter you watched yourself. All the doors stayed locked, and you never answered for anyone. Leaving for college was easy because you've been doing a lot for yourself for a long time now.
2. You're responsible
It's difficult to be independent if you aren't responsible too. If you were left home alone or babysat younger siblings at age 9, your legal guardians had to know that you were responsible enough to be trusted. When something important came up, you needed to know how to handle yourself properly so as not to cause trouble. Trouble meant punishments and that only added to the stress of Mom or Dad's day.
3. You matured too quickly
You're 16 years old, your teachers are always admiring how mature you are for a high school student. Basically you're being admired for your adult-like tendencies during a time when you should be raising some sort of hell. You know there's a time and place for nonsense, and school is not one of those places. Your friends throw paper airplanes around and stay out past curfew because that's what teenagers do. Not you, though. You can't afford to get into trouble at school because you need scholarships for college. At night, you need to be home before anyone else to get the kids off the bus and get your homework done so that you can put the younger ones to bed at a decent hour while your parent works late hours of the night.
4. You're grateful for what you have
It's not much, but it's yours. Someone worked hard to earn it. You didn't scream and throw yourself around in the grocery store because not only would you get whooped, but you knew that good behavior was rewarded later down the road when the time was more fitting. On your birthday you got the bike you eyed for weeks at Wal-Mart. You thought your dad didn't see you scoping it out, but he did.
5. You're a hard, reliable worker
Mom never had time to mow the grass. You did because you had the time. When you were old enough, you offered to mow your neighbors grass too and they gave you a little bit of cash for it. You had a worker's permit in high school because you helped pay the bills while your friends drained their mom and dad's pockets for booze and fast food. In adulthood, if you ever find yourself unqualified for a position you've applied for, always stress how hard of a worker you are and how trustworthy you can be. Employers want that in any candidate, qualified or not. You're more likely to increase your chances of getting the job.
6. You manage money well, somewhat
If Grandpa gave you a dollar you cherished it because your guardians couldn't afford to give you a dollar even if they had one. You were lucky to have $20 left from your paycheck after dishing out the rest for bills. You saved that $20 because you always knew in the back of your mind that you were in charge of paying for your college tuition or your apartment when you turned 18 and moved away from home. The older you get, you splurge a little more than you should because let's face it, you earned it.
7. You have a sense of adventure
You're not quite sure how you'll get from point A to point B yet, but one day you'll make it there. Wherever that is. Your hometown can't contain you, and your parents push you to have the adventures they never did.
8. You always love with your whole heart
Love doesn't surge through broken families. That's why they're broken in the first place. You've learned the importance of the words "I love you," and never say them unless you mean them truly. Even if you feel it you may not say it because you're terrified of the consequences. Your loved ones never have to worry if you love them because you love so passionately sometimes it's frightening.
9. You established the Fake It Til You Make It strategy
Something ridiculous was always happening in your world. You were up at two in the morning trying to glue the pieces of your life back together a lot of the time while your friends slept peacefully unaware. You still went to school and smiled at them so they wouldn't ask questions. When you couldn't manage the smile, your excuses were always on point because the less questions asked, the better.
10. You've practiced great communication skills
Mom and Dad hated each other too much to discuss when one was picking you up for their designated visitation slot. You were on the phone playing middle man until an agreement was reached. You're capable of censoring out the curses in between words. Not to mention you mastered the perfect voice for sales because you handled a number of negotiations between your parents.
11. You know how to take charge
You're a leader by heart because your family is incapable of making decisions when necessary. Do you go out for Christmas dinner or does Mom slave away all day with no help? Grandma doesn't like what your mom cooks so she won't come if that's the route you take. Cousin Scott is too picky for the restaurant chosen. Well it looks like everyone is S.O.L. because you're calling the shots, and if Grandma doesn't show up then so be it. You can't please everyone, but at least you can attempt to work with the majority.
12. You treat others how you want to be treated
Your family is the Brady Bunch gone wrong. Your siblings show no respect to your parents because they don't show each other respect. It's all a clustered mess of disrespect and cruelty but it's also a chain reaction. You know better than to disrespect someone unless you're looking to be disrespected. If you can't cooperate with someone, you treat them cordially until they're no longer in your face. It's all about the cause-and-effect.
13. You're a listener
It's like you were blessed with this talent of listening. People are drawn to you and beg you to let them unleash their troubles on you. If you had a dime for every time you heard "Hey, can I talk to you about something?" you'd have enough to pay this month's water bill at least. It's because you're great at not speaking and just hearing them out. Carry that with you always.
14. You read people well
You spent your childhood studying your guardians. You needed to understand why they did the things they did. Your careful analyzation of them prepared you to analyze others too. Your ex cheated on you with a man three times her age, and you can understand why because you've studied her since you met her. It's a blessing and a curse. You can prepare yourself when someone hurts you, and you can figure out ways to help people get through tough times.
15. You can't turn your back on anyone
It's not that you don't turn your back on anyone, it's that you can't. If anyone knows anything about being betrayed, it's you. Your dad walked out on you and your mom when you were three. The day you turned 18, he miraculously found his way back to you. Your mom forgot to pick you up from the bus stop because she fell asleep after working 15 hours straight. They're only human, and you can't help but to love them. Your compassion and access to empathy makes you someone worth counting on because you're willing to give second chances.
16. You're understanding
You know that everyone has their troubles and someone needs to cut us slack. That's where you shine. You understand why your friends bailed on your Sunday hangout day, and you know that your older sister just needs to get out of the house when she can. It's not because she doesn't love you, it's because the family drives her insane. No matter the circumstance, you understand that unexpected situations happen.
17. You're selfless
Remember that bike your dad bought you? Your dad spent his last pretty penny on that bike. It took him two months to catch back up financially after that. You didn't know that when you were younger, but you came to see his selfless ways the older you became. You give all that you can because you know what having nothing feels like to an extent.
18. You keep your circle small
You have limited trust in your heart because of all you've been through. You've been lied to and stabbed brutally in the back. So you're able to count all your closest friends on one hand. It's nothing personal, and you have a lengthy list of acquaintances, but opening up takes an extra amount of strength and trust from you. You only have enough of that for a select number of people.
19. When you speak your mind the world listens
You kept your mouth shut all those times when your dad called your mother worthless, and you let your racist grandfather crack all the jokes he wanted about your black father. When you open your mouth you speak with a controlled purpose that stills the fast-paced world. You don't speak just to hear yourself, you speak as someone that has considered your words carefully.
20. You know life is too short
You work hard, you take time to listen, and you love wholeheartedly because there's only so much time left in this world for us all. In the race against time, we're losing, but you've figured out a way to win a losing battle. Each second spent doing something you love is a second spent well. You don't have time to carry hate in your heart as you once did when you were younger. You let go of the anguish because you get tired of laying in bed feeling sorry for yourself. There's a world out there waiting for you to conquer it.
