It was 2014 and everything I ever wanted fell into my lap.
They say timing is everything and I don't really buy into that too much, but I do believe in fate. There is a reason you meet each and every person you come in contact with. Just because it's fate does not mean it's meant to last forever, despite how much you want it to.
You never wronged me, despite how often I told you that you did. You never deserved to be put down because of my insecurities. You deserved confidence, respect, love, and appreciation. These are things I could only give you 80% of the time. As much as I wish I could go back in time and alter my behavior, I know this is not possible. I am sorry that I could not behave in a mature manner, in such a serious relationship, but I thank you for the lessons you have taught me about life.
I write this letter, not to apologize to her, as this has been done countless times. I write this letter in hopes of saving good relationships that don't have to end just because of one person's selfishness or insecurities.
Both parties in any relationship are not only in control of their own actions, but they are also in control of recognizing their own self-worth.
If something is occurring in your relationship, where you feel unappreciated or are questioning your self-worth, speak up. You're in a relationship with this person, and depending on how long you have been with this person, you may trust and love them.
If you cannot truly lay it all out to your significant other, without judgment, you should not be in that relationship.
Relationships are built on trust and communication. Never feel ashamed to express your emotions to your significant other. If you don't express yourself, there is no way your partner will know they are doing anything wrong.
At times, the stress in our lives takes over. We take our emotions out on the people we love most because we feel they will never leave us, no matter what we do. While this is sometimes true, that doesn't make it right. It's not right to take someone else down because you are down.
If work is killing you but you don't want to quit your job to find something else, when you leave for the day, leave work at work. Take this time off to spend with your loved ones. Enjoy your time with them, rather than complain about life. You never know when it could their last day or even when it could be yours.
Just remember this: Tomorrow is not always promised and people are not obligated to stay in your life, no matter what your relationship may be. Everyone has a breaking point. Do not allow your actions to be the reason a friend, family member or significant other reaches their breaking point and decides to walk away from you. This is something you will struggle to let go of and forever regret. This is something I know first hand.
If this does happen to you, please channel this energy with a positive mindset.
Allow yourself to learn from your mistakes. Learn how to treat others in times of personal crisis. Understand that this person was there for you. They had your back when you were down, and you should not hate them for leaving because remember, you are the one who pushed them out. Wish this person the best in life, and if he or she ever comes back into your life, learn from your previous experience. Understand the fact that just because they are willing to accept your apology and walk down that path with you again, nothing is promised. He or she does not have to stay and endure the same things he or she endured previously.
Understand that their presence in your life is a true blessing and treat him or her with the utmost respect he or she deserves. If this person chooses to never come back into your life, take this as a lesson and never treat another person like this again.
To anyone reading this, please understand you will never get what you want in life as a depressed, insecure, ignorant, negative, self-centered individual. Life is beautiful. It is all about spreading the love. It is a gift to be alive. In this sense, your presence is a present. Just remember that only you can control what type of present you present to those who enter your life. Until you understand this, you'll never see the true joy in life.
