If you bring a girl to Target, she'll start out by stopping for a Starbucks drink in the front, because you can't shop without an iced coffee.
If she gets a Starbucks coffee, she'll use it as an excuse to stay longer in the store, because you can't leave until your drink is finished. Obviously.
If she's decided she can spend more time in the store, she'll start off at the dollar section, even though there is little to no chance of her actually buying anything there.
If she's in the dollar section, she'll see a pack of assorted pencils, which reminds her she needs a planner.
If she needs a planner, she also needs to buy highlighters, pens and post-it notes to help with her organization skills.
If she needs to buy office supplies, she will already be down the aisle anyway, so why not throw in some flashcards and a notebook or two.
If she's buying all of these school items, she'll need a basket.
If she needs a basket, she has to go back to the front of the store.
If she goes back to the front, she stops at the dollar aisle again. Only for 10 more minutes.
If she's at the dollar aisle again, she'll notice some kid socks with cartoons on them. Which reminds her that she needs some clothes.
If she needs clothes, she'll head over to the clothing department, but accidentally find the swimsuit section first.
If she finds the swimsuit section, she'll remember that she's supposed to be working on her spring break bod, and she needs to buy workout clothes.
If she needs to buy workout clothes, she'll need to find the perfect color sports bra that matches her tank tops.
If she finds the perfect sports bras, she will use the excuse for working out to buy more yoga pants. Everyone needs an excuse to buy more yoga pants.
If she's working out, she'll need to eat healthy. So she'll head to the grocery aisle.
If she's at the grocery aisle, she'll probably sample a cookie. Or two. But it's OK because she's about to start working out.
If she samples cookies, she'll buy a pack so she doesn't seem rude.
If she buys a pack of cookies, she'll also buy some fruit to balance it out.
If she's buying fruit, she'll also buy some vegetables. But maybe not a whole vegetable. Probably one of those prepackaged, pre-made salads.
If she's buying food, she'll realize she's thirsty, so she'll sip more of her iced coffee, but it's out.
If her coffee is gone, then it's time for her trip to end. So she'll head to the register.
If she checks out at the register, she'll head out to her car only to realize she never bought the item she came to Target for in the first place.
