If you're like me, you probably stay up into the wee hours of the morning pondering the eternal mysteries of the universe, like how did he meet my mother? Or where do baby carrots come from? Like, do storks bring them to mommy and daddy carrots, or what?

It was during one such night of reflection that I fell into a Buzzfeedian line of questioning. I contemplated such things as: if I were an eating utensil, what eating utensil would I be? (Answer is spoon, because you can't eat broccoli with a spoon.) And, if Briar Cliff was a band which one would it be? (Prolly an indie band because we're really high and no one's ever heard of us.)

And it was along this train of thought that I started to wonder, "Could I describe other things at Briar Cliff with band names?" Well, me, I certainly tried. So here it is: Things at Briar Cliff described in band names/artist.

1. Where that weed smell is coming from: Three Doors Down

2. Marian Pesky: Iron Maiden

3. The meat in the caf: Pink

4. Every day in Noonan: Green Day

5. Day after Francisco de Mayo: As I Lay Dying

6. Ground floor Alverno: Hoobastank

7. Alverno elevator: Trapt

8. The freshmen: The Who

9. The water pipes: Built To Spill

10. Graduating Seniors: The Grateful Dead

11. Campus Pigeons: Public Enemy

12. Kind of laptop you can get in the library: Adele

13. When not to go to caf: The Weeknd

14. RA's: The Police

15. Average balance in a student bank account: 50 Cent