I Am Breaking Up With My Boyfriend And He Doesn't Know It
Start writing a post
Entertainment

I Am Breaking Up With My Boyfriend And He Doesn't Know It

It was the right love at the wrong time.

254
I Am Breaking Up With My Boyfriend And He Doesn't Know It
playbuzz

"I don't want normal and easy and simple.."

It's been three and a half years. I've been in love with my best friend for three of those years. I was happy. In love and happy. And then one day, I wasn't.

One day I woke up and realized this life wasn't for me. He didn't do anything specifically wrong, like cheat on me or abuse me. I wasn't angry with him. I just wasn't happy and I don't know why. Actually, I do know why, I wasn't in love anymore. More I looked at him, more I realized that he was my best friend. But JUST my best friend.

I still love him. I'd donate every organ in my body for him. But I'm not in love anymore and that is okay. It is okay that I want different things than I wanted three years ago. I have grown. He has grown. But we are growing at different rates. We have become different people than we were three years ago and these new people don't go together.

Six months ago I realized I was content with my life. It was an ordinary life. I had an apartment, a job and a serious relationship. It was fine.

I was tired of being "fine."

You should never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary. That's what it was. An ordinary relationship in an ordinary life. I wanted more.

I wanted a great love in a great life that took me all over the world. I wanted the kind of life that people were in awe of. I wanted to love myself too. I wanted extraordinary. Or I should say, I want. We haven't broken up.

Thats right. I have been in a relationship for the past six months without love. It's taken six months of living like this to finally being able to say out loud "I need more." I was in denial for a while. Then I was sad, until I became happy with this decision.

About a month ago I decided I was breaking up with my boyfriend; but he doesn't know it yet.

It's not easy. Terminating a relationship like ours. We have been through a lot, and part of me isn't ready for this relationship to end. However, its time. Maybe in a few years, we will both be in the same place, and we can have that all-consuming love that I want, but not now. Right now, we need to be our own people. We need to grow and learn to love without each other.

The hardest part about leaving a relationship like ours is, I will be losing my best friend. Both of us will be. Sure, staying friends is always an option, but in our case, I don't think it's the best option. In order for us to become who we need to be, we need to be apart.

We suffocate each other.

It used to be a good thing, but now, it's harmful. We are both holding each other back from having an extraordinary life and I want more for him than that. I want more for me than that. So it's time for both of us to move on; I just hope I can find a way to tell him.

"...I want painful, dificult, devestating, life-changing, extraordinary love." - Olivia Pope

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
October Is Overrated, Let's Just Accept This Fact

I have never liked the month of October. I like the fall weather and the beginning of wearing sweaters in the crisp fall air, but I never associated this with the month of October.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Plight Of Being Bigger Than A D-Cup

"Big boobs are like puppies: they're fun to look at and play with, but once they're yours, you realize they're a lot of responsibility." - Katie Frankhart, Her Campus

6493
giphy.com

This probably sounds like the most self-absorbed, egotistical, and frankly downright irritating white-girl problem... but there's more to this I promise.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

An Open Letter To The Younger Muslim Generation

Fight back with dialogue and education.

5979

Dear Muslim Kids,

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Mystery Of The Gospel

Also entitled, "The Day I Stopped Believing In God"

7543

I had just walked across the street from the soccer field back to the school. I turned around and saw the cars rushing, passing each other, going fast over the crosswalk where I had been moments earlier. “It would be so easy to jump in front of one of them,” I thought, looking at the cars. “I could jump, and this life that I’m stuck in would be over.”

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

College as Told by The Lord of the Rings Memes

One does not simply pass this article.

9618
Zastavki

College as told by the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit memes. Everyone will be Tolkien about it.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments