I feel as if society puts a stigma on heartbreak. It’s like everyone expects you to date someone for a period of time, get close to them, and learn all about their life, just to one day break up and never speak again. It feels at times, like it’s expected of us to just “get over it." People who are getting over a breakup are put into a stereotype of being that person who sits on the couch eating ice cream straight out of the carton and sobbing to romance movies, only to get over it a few days later. The person who is heartbroken is always portrayed as pathetic and needy. However, this is not the case. You should never let anyone make you feel like your feelings don’t matter or that caring about someone is “pathetic." It’s not always easy to walk away from weeks, months, or even years of memories without having some pain. It’s important to give yourself time to heal instead of just telling yourself to “get over it." The truth is, it’s just going to hurt until it doesn’t anymore. You can’t force yourself to feel better.

You are not at fault for trusting or loving someone. Often if someone doesn’t reciprocate our feelings, we may find ourselves feeling stupid, like we were supposed to know better. Remind yourself that you couldn’t have predicted the future, no matter how hard you could have tried to read the signs. It’s okay to mess up sometimes, and put trust into people that don’t deserve it. You are not the bad person in the situation, as being kind is never a bad thing.

Letting someone crush your spirit is only hurting yourself. Remember that you are ultimately in control of how your experiences impact you, and you have a choice in whether or not it changes your personality for the better. Let yourself become stronger, and learn from your mistakes, but also don’t let it deter you from trusting people in future relationships. You wouldn’t want a heartbreak from preventing you from living your life to the fullest. In the end, the memory of the experience will disappear- it won’t matter in a few years. However, the impact it can have on your personality can last forever. Make sure that you let your experiences shape you the way that you feel you should be.