Dear Anxiety,

We've had our fun this past year. You constantly told me that I should panic about a paper that was two weeks away and that I had plenty of time for, or you tried to convince me that I would achieve nothing in my time at college. Thanks for that. But now that you've had your fun experimenting this past year, let's look towards the future, shall we?

You have controlled me for too long. I feel as though I can't accomplish anything because you're always throwing a new "What if?" into my head or helping me to relive the problems of my past. Next year, though, I am the one in charge. Gone are the days where you have a right to tell me that I'm going to fail my project because of one tiny mistake, or that if I don't study every single page, I'll fail my finals.

I'll admit, sometimes I feel more productive because of you. The stress of upcoming events motivated me late into the night. But then you use that in the future to remind me of the mistakes I made. Too many nights I've lost sleep because you told me to keep working, or because you reminded me of my failures. It's not fair that you use that as a weapon against me.

But from now on, I will set my own rules. I will love every project I do, even if it's not my best work. I will actually get some sleep and dream happy dreams on my own account. I will work hard without stressing out. I will study with a schedule that makes sense, so you can't come and attack me.

Speaking of, don't even think you have a chance with your anxiety attacks anymore. I've found ways to help save me. I can breathe, visualize and relax you away. I have the tools to stop you so I'm not shaking worse than a chihuahua or dealing with a never-ending headache. I will take my body back from you and be healthy by taking care of myself.

So here's to you, anxiety. This year was still fun, even if you made it hell sometimes. Don't expect me to take you back to school with me in the fall, though.

Sincerely,

The better me