It’s hard to write this out. It is hard to figure out how I feel about you because there are so many mixed emotions, and there have just been so many ups and downs. When I posted on Instagram and talked to my friends about you I focused on the ups, and when I was alone in my room crying over our last fight I focused on the downs. But now I want to say just how grateful I am for both, how grateful I am for who I am because of you, and how I wouldn’t change our time together for anything.

I remember when our journey first started. I was so excited because I’d been waiting for so long to meet someone like you with your maturity and freedom. My friends warned me that this honeymoon phase would end and that it was just a result of finding such a good rebound to my ex, high school, but I knew my joy over the opportunities this new phase in my life meant were genuine. If I’m honest though it wasn’t love at first sight. It was hard jumping into something so new without a hint of a safety net. This was a blind date and I lost sight for a bit of who I was getting lost in who you wanted me to be, a typical college freshman doing typical college things.

I took safety in my identity of being a freshman. Don’t know my major, well that’s OK because I’m a freshman. Didn’t do so well on that first test, well that’s to be expected since I’m a freshman. Not as involved on campus as I would like well everything is okay because I am a freshman. So now that we are no longer together this barrier to real life has vanished, so what’s next?

I entered our relationship with so much hope, so much fear, and although our time together is coming to a close I will take away so much from our time together. This past year has helped me grow into a different, and hopefully better person. I’m about to enter into a brand new relationship with sophomore year, and because of you, I’m not scared. I have more of a sense of who I am, where I am going, and what could be in store for me. This year was so filled with change that I had to get used to, saying hello to opportunities and saying goodbye because you have to let some doors close sometimes. I’m ending this chapter of my life and that always entails some nostalgia, but one of the best things I learned from you is that letting things go and realizing that things end, but that is what makes them special. So thanks, freshman year, for your crazy fun and crazy weird memories, it’s been real. Sophomore year, you aren’t going to know what hit you.