Newsflash, A Break Is The Same Thing As A Break Up

Newsflash, A Break Is The Same Thing As A Break Up

Breaks shouldn't even be a thing.

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Taking a break in a relationship is one of those things that a lot of people do, but not many actually understand. A break definitely falls into the relationship gray area. The problem with breaks is that no one ever set a standard for what it means. You see, with a breakup, it's clear that you're over. It's completely valid to see other people and be with other people so long as it's what makes you happy. A break on the other hand really just opens the door for more confusion, more fights, and more drama.

When someone says that they want a break, what they're actually saying is they are ready to end the relationship, they just don't really know how to say it.

A break typically is meant to give two people separation when they feel like they are growing apart and spending more time unhappy then happy, but if you're already that unhappy, separation probably isn't going to magically make the problems go away. If anything, this break is going to allow for you two to grow in ways that don't involve the other person and create an even bigger wedge. Actively dealing with issues will certainly save a relationship more often than taking a break will.

Besides the inevitable growing apart, breaks allow for a lot of boundaries to be crossed such as sleeping with other people. If you're taking a break and you or your partner are going to see other people, do yourself the favor ahead of time and cut off the relationship before more feelings are hurt. If the so-called break doesn't have set expectations for it, then it surely is more of a break up than it is a break.

At the end of the day, a break it a bandaid over an open wound. It's not always going to stop anything from hurting and it certainly isn't going to fix anything in the relationship. If it's space that you are needing in a relationship, then take the space for yourself, but this so-called break is a dramatic label that truly is not a real thing.

If you're going to take a break with no intention of still working on your problems, save yourself the time and energy and call it quits. No one ever said that you can't get back together with this person later down the road if you break up. Give both of yourselves time to grow and develop in the ways that both you and they deserve. Trust me, it will save a lot of heartache in the short term.

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I Blame My Dad For My High Expectations

Dad, it's all your fault.
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I always tell my dad that no matter who I date, he's always my number one guy. Sometimes I say it as more of a routine thing. However, the meaning behind it is all too real. For as long as I can remember my dad has been my one true love, and it's going to be hard to find someone who can top him.

My dad loves me when I am difficult. He knows how to keep the perfect distance on the days when I'm in a mood, how to hold me on the days that are tough, and how to stand by me on the days that are good.

He listens to me rant for hours over people, my days at school, or the episode of 'Grey's Anatomy' I watched that night and never once loses interest.

He picks on me about my hair, outfit, shoes, and everything else after spending hours to get ready only to end by telling me, “You look good." And I know he means it.

He holds the door for me, carries my bags for me, and always buys my food. He goes out of his way to make me smile when he sees that I'm upset. He calls me randomly during the day to see how I'm doing and how my day is going and drops everything to answer the phone when I call.

When it comes to other people, my dad has a heart of gold. He will do anything for anyone, even his worst enemy. He will smile at strangers and compliment people he barely knows. He will strike up a conversation with anyone, even if it means going way out of his way, and he will always put himself last.

My dad also knows when to give tough love. He knows how to make me respect him without having to ask for it or enforce it. He knows how to make me want to be a better person just to make him proud. He has molded me into who I am today without ever pushing me too hard. He knew the exact times I needed to be reminded who I was.

Dad, you have my respect, trust, but most of all my heart. You have impacted my life most of all, and for that, I can never repay you. Without you, I wouldn't know what I to look for when I finally begin to search for who I want to spend the rest of my life with, but it might take some time to find someone who measures up to you.

To my future husband, I'm sorry. You have some huge shoes to fill, and most of all, I hope you can cook.

Cover Image Credit: Logan Photography

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To The Boy I’ve Been Dating Since I Was 15, I Always Knew You Were My Forever

Thank you for showing me love when I thought I didn't deserve any.

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Hey you,

People assumed our "fling" would only last a few short months. It's what everyone assumes when your first love happens during your sophomore year of high school. Yet here we stand, three and a half years later, more together than we've ever been. Although we've had our ups and downs, we still managed to keep our relationship going and to remember why we're together in the first place.

Many say loving isn't easy, but you make it a walk in the park.

You respect me in more ways than one, and you make me feel beautiful, inside and out. For a long time, I never noticed the beauty and strength I have within myself. I didn't see what others would point out to me, and at times I still find it hard to acknowledge my worth. However, you came into my life at a time when I felt I had no one, and you helped me to see all I have to offer. You helped me to open my mind to the thought of loving myself for who I am, and although the road is long and I'm not completely there, you've made me see how worthy of love I truly am.

Having you as my best friend, along with being my boyfriend, is the most rewarding feeling in the world.

I think the reason we rarely fight or stay angry with each other is that we truly are best friends. We could spend all of our time in deep conversation about any topic in the world and still feel engaged and ready to hear more from one another. Every single day I learn something new about you and vice versa. We can be ourselves in each other's presence and have fun doing absolutely nothing exciting. I am easily annoyed by a lot of things, but you are not one of them. Being with you for hours, even if we just watch TV the entire time, never gets repetitive or boring.

You treated me with the respect I deserved before I even realized I was worthy of it.

In many ways, I don't respect myself. Whether it be body image or letting "friends" walk all over me, I let many thoughts and people control my life. You, however, were the saving grace I needed. You've shown me how I deserve to be treated and how I should think of myself. Often I wonder how I got so lucky to end up with someone who loves me unconditionally and who values everything I have to offer. I say all the time that I don't deserve your heart, your kindness, your love, but you always remind me that I do. And I'm starting to realize that you're right; I deserve every bit of love, kindness, and respect that you have to offer. I can only hope that I award you with the same love and selflessness you give me every single day.

Three and a half years with someone may seem extremely long, but I feel as though we've been together a lifetime. It's hard to remember a time when you weren't right there beside me, and I would never want to imagine a future without you in it. There are so many more laughs, adventures, and memories to be made with you, and I only hope that I can be at least half of the person you are.

Thank you for pulling me out of the darkness. Today, tomorrow, and always.

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