" There is power in the Name of Jesus to break every chain."
This is a powerful statement!!!!
My First Year Experience leader prayed over me to have Jesus break all of the chains that were holding me back from being at my full potential. Before she said those words my heart ached, as she was praying my heart began to feel healed. In the very moments those words were spoken, God started working with it.
Anxiety and fear are my two biggest barriers, they stop me from doing things on a daily basis. I don't talk to people because I fear they will think I am awkward. I learn information from class wonderfully, but because of anxiety I really struggle with the test. I struggle to open up to others out of fear that they will tell others. I struggle to pray because I am anxious and fearful that God won't see me as good enough.
These barriers stop me from serving God in ways I know God wants me to serve Him.... And that isn't okay!!!!
" This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1;9 NLT)
The Lord is with me wherever I go, so why am I afraid?
He goes before me, so why do I doubt?
He promises me He'll never leave me, so why do I question?
The things that are holding me back get in my way, and that needs to change. I sit and I pray asking God to break my chains, but I doubt he will. But as my First Year Experience leader prayed the same, I felt God starting to break some chains. Mt heart felt lighter, and I felt at ease. I didn't even care about the fact we were standing there and I was in tears, because God was working through that and transforming me right there. I sat in my room that night and just poured out my heart to God. Crying so hard I was shaking and was in such a vulnerable place, yet I knew God was holding me close. whispering to me, "My Child, I love you. You were made perfect and beautiful in My eyes." God was tugging at those chains and starting to break them, then I started to doubt. As I think about it now, if I could see God's face it would have been one of sadness. Because God doesn't want me to hold onto my chains, but He can't break them until I allow Him to.
The next night as I was preparing for bed I felt God tugging at one of my chains, so I sat down and I prayed. " God take this chain of insecurity away from me, I can't hold it anymore." and I immediately felt God break that chain, my heart was lighter and I felt at ease. I spent hours that night in praise and prayer, just being with my Savior. And while that was the only chain that was broken, that is one less chain I have to carry.
And I have learnt that breaking every chain is a process, it can't just happen overnight. It is a process that is difficult, yet it is life changing. It is about giving everything to God, knowing He will make something out of your life.
"I give it all to You God, trusting that You'll make something beautiful out of me...." This is the cry of my heart. I want God to strip me of myself and surround me with His presence.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your path straight." I have heard these two verses all my life, so I sometimes forget they have meaning. If you give God all of your life, then He will make something beautiful out of you. God wants your entire heart.... your work, your relationships, your mind, your heart, your soul, your everything....
As I write this tears are pouring out of my eyes. I feel God's presence in me right now.... God is real, God loves me, God wants me, God gave His Only Son for me.... God is taking my hurt, my pain, my sorrow, my scars and every bad thing and covering it in His blood....
I have had a lot of hurts in life and it has given me a lot of scars.... Some physical and some emotional and a few spiritual.... But in the moments of sorrow as I pour out everything in my heart and soul.... God picks me up and holds me and cries with me.....He covers me with His loving hands.... And in those moments of complete brokenness God is in the process of making me.....
"I surrender all, I surrender all. All to Thee my blessed Savior I surrender all." Those words are the prayer of my heart not just tonight but for my life.
"Father God, I thank You for this day. I thank You for giving Jesus as a ransom for my sins. Thank you Lord, for helping me in my brokenness and pain. God, I love you. Heal me of all my pain, all my sorrows, all my insecurities, all my shame. Lord, I give everything to You, make something out of me. Holy Spirit, You are welcome here. In Jesus' precious and Holy Name Amen."
