A crowd formed a circle around the center of the path. We all watched, some cheering, some stood with mouths agape. Everybody stopped, but nobody would make it stop. Nobody stepped in as they all cheered for one of the two teenage boys swinging at one another. After an eternity, a teacher walked by and broke up the scene, sending students scrambling to pick up their jaws and get to class. Later that day, the same teacher asked the class why nobody said anything.
“I didn’t know how.”
“I didn’t think I needed to.”
“I figured somebody else would.”
None of us had an answer to justify being a spectator. None of us could explain why we allowed the violent scene to unfold, yet we all left class unmoved that day, satisfied with our roles as bystanders.
Nobody can blame a bystander when things go wrong. Nobody can look to them when things don’t go according to plan. They are only innocent bystanders, after all.
This is what we would like to believe, at least. And under the bystander effect, it is exactly what we believe. The bystander effect is the idea that “the presence of others discourages an individual from intervening in an emergency situation.” As more people are present, the likelihood of intervention decreases. While the concept tends to focus on emergency situations, it also applies in less dire instances. The tendency to be a bystander in all things is what I consider the bystander habit - our tendency to stand back when others are present has translated into our personal lives when we're alone. The idea can apply from intervening in an altercation to giving someone on the street a dollar or two to helping a struggling mother in the grocery store parking lot.
In many instances, many of us would not get involved even without other people present, but the chances of us getting involved are lessened as the other bystanders accumulate. No matter how many people are present, however, bystanders are not acceptable. It’s time to stop falling victim to our own bystander habits and the mindset that someone else will take care of it if it needs to be done. Each person has the power to make a difference, but only a handful are willing to break out of the mold to do so.
We praise and applaud those who do help, but don’t realize that, more often than not, what they do are things that ought to be expected. Unfortunately, it’s only those who perform the “faith in humanity” restoring acts who realize that their actions to help others are not extreme or radical, just considerate. Instead, our norm is walking with bowed heads, phone-lit faces and self-absorbed attitudes. When we see someone struggling, we rarely acknowledge it. When we do, we simply expect someone else to address it.
We revere those who take a stand; we celebrate those who instigate and harness change. We often tell ourselves to “Be the change you want to see in the world,” but we are never willing to actually be that. We’re more comfortable using it as an Instagram caption while we sit in our rooms than we are using it as a way of life while we go into the world.
We allow life to happen to us, then complain when we dislike the circumstances. When we read about local issues, talk to loved ones about family problems and grumble to ourselves as we walk through town, we do it simply to complain. We all have things that bother us. We all have things that we could help change, but we don’t want to. Issues bother us, but not enough to find solutions; if we found solutions, we would lose the ability to complain. And we don’t want that now, do we?
We don’t, but we should.
We love our roles as bystanders. We enjoy not being able to be directly blamed. But our silence indicates a stance of neutrality; our silence is violent. Elie Wiesel, Holocaust survivor and author of the book Night, says,
"We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere."
Must we always jump into every situation? It depends. In those emergency situations where the bystander effect is typically associated, absolutely; everyone ought to step up in these instances to defend the well-being and dignity of other people. In situations that may be specific to a cause, not exactly. Not everyone supports and fights for the same causes, because not everyone is passionate about the same causes. One may support foster care or education with deep passion, while another may advocate for healthcare and medical support. It is not that we need everyone to care deeply about everything, but everyone needs to recognize a need for change in society, and be willing to step into that role of change-maker.
It is when people recognize that they are capable of being a part of the action and not just a spectator that change happens. It is when people see that they can help instigate change that people receive help. Without those who were willing to stand up and support others, we would not have organizations like Red Cross, Doctors Without Borders, Save the Children, the American Civil Liberties Union and seemingly endless other groups that work in communities around the world to support those in need. Without people being willing to stand up in an emergency, countless more deaths and traumas could have occurred. The exact numbers are impossible to gather because when someone intervenes and a situation stops, there is nothing to report- which is sometimes the best report.
Don’t be a bystander.
Don’t wait for the world to be what you want it to be.
Don’t wait for good to erupt from the earth like a paradoxical volcano of pixie dust and peace.
Be an agent for peace and compassion.
The ways of following through with these imperatives may look different for everyone. Perhaps it looks like finding an organization you support and volunteering with them. Or going out of your way to pick up litter you come across as you walk to work. Or writing to your local government to urge they pass certain laws.
There are countless causes, but there are also countless excuses. Often times we simply don’t want to get out of our comfort zones, so we hope someone else will do it. We sit in silence and anxiously look at others, hoping for a brave soul to come forward and break up the fight. When someone finally steps forward, we wipe our brows and sigh in relief because now we no longer feel the moral obligation to be involved.
Don’t be a bystander. Don’t wait for the world to change. Don’t sit in your castle while the village crumbles around it.
All it takes is one – will it be you?
