Brave or Crazy?: When You Reset Your Life

Brave or Crazy?: When You Reset Your Life

Sometimes, a change can do a world of good
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In September of 2016, my husband and I realized that we were discontent with our lives. An outsider to our relationship would wonder why, as by just looking, it would seem we had the American dream, the thing that all people should be striving for. We were in our mid-thirties, homeowners, with 3 children, adequate income for all the wants and needs, a dog, a fenced in yard, the whole she-bang. Yet, something was missing, so we formulated a plan, a life reset.

Our house was nice. We had bought it for sale by owner for a great price and put a lot of time and effort into remodeling it. I spent quite literally months of my life painting walls and sanding hardwood floors, which to me meant that all that time and labor would soon pay off when we sold our palace and took a leap. Our original plan was to move to Phoenix. I don't know why, I have just always wanted to live there, but in the end, we chose Las Vegas as our next home.

We had a plan pretty well laid out. We had a realtor come check out the house right away, to see if she thought it was worth what we thought. She pointed out some additional things we would need to do, so it was a good thing we had all that extra time to get it taken care of. Our last Nebraska winter was spent tearing down walls and building new ones, painting, laying carpet, and fixing tiny details that really, in the end, don't matter anyway. But by March, it was done and the house went up for sale. This is the part we thought would be easy. We would just sit back and wait for offers to come in, no problem. We had no idea that this part would actually end up being the most stressful. The town we moved from was not large, not a lot of houses for sale at that time, but lots of lookers, so several times we had to leave for an hour or more so people could look. After 3 weeks, we had had enough of that and took an offer from some people we knew, even though we probably could've gotten more, just to get that part over with.

Luckily, during all these months, because we knew the house was going to be sold, we had been packing up things we weren't immediately using and selling other things on our local Facebook exchange site, serious downsizing. However, once the final offer had been accepted, all that kicked into overdrive. I could never have imagined the amount of stuff we had acquired over just 3 years of us living there. So many things were donated, so many things were thrown away, and still, it was lucky that our U-Haul ended up being larger than we planned or we wouldn't have gotten anywhere near what we did.

Then came closing day, with its own little set of stresses and headaches, but at the end of the day, we took the check to the bank and headed outta town. This part was planned to the detail as well. Some of our close friends made the trip with us because, well, they can pull a trailer and we can't. So westward our wagons headed, through the Nebraska Sandhills, the Colorado Rockies, and the amazing plateaus of Utah, before finally pulling in to Las Vegas.

Two months later, we have replenished our furniture and then some. We have Nevada plates and driver's licenses, and we now drive like we are from Las Vegas, trust me, it's a thing. The kids are getting ready for school to start. My husband and I have each lost about 40 pounds. We love the weather, the palm trees, the neighborhood we chose, we are just all super happy. We miss our family and our friends, especially since we came out here literally knowing no one, but we are adjusting well.

For us, the reset made a huge difference. It helped our marriage, it bettered our relationships with our kids, and it gave us back the self-confidence that we had lost in the humdrum of small town life we had become so accustomed to. It forced us to try, actually try, rather than just sitting back and waiting to see what happens next. I am looking forward to what life has in store for us next.

Cover Image Credit: Jessica Knight

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Dear Mom, From Your Daughter In College

Here are all the things our phone calls aren't long enough to say.
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Dear Mom,

Do you remember when I was three and we would play together? It was the age of princesses and carpet that was actually lava, and you were the prettiest woman in the whole wide world. Do you remember when I was in high school and the world seemed too big and scary? You would know exactly when to take me on a mother-daughter date and have me laughing about anything and everything, and you were the smartest woman in the whole wide world. Now, I'm buried in homework and deadlines hours away from you and we don't get to talk as much you want, but you're still the prettiest, smartest woman in the whole wide world.

I'm sorry that I don't call you as much as I should, and you know a lot of what goes on in my world via posts and pictures. Our schedules just seem to never line up so we can have the three-hour conversations about everything like I want to. I know we don't agree on absolutely everything, but I cherish every piece of advice you give me, even though it probably seems like I'm hardly listening. I know that sometimes we get on each other's nerves, but thank you for putting up with me for all of these years. Thank you for listening to me cry, complain, question things and go on and on about how everything in college is. I know I don't come home as much as I used to, but I think about you all the time. After all, you're my first friend, and therefore, my best friend.

Thank you for celebrating my successes with me, and not downing me too hard for my failures. Thank you for knowing what mistakes I shouldn't make, but letting me make them anyway because you want me to live my life and be my own person. Thank you for knowing when to ask about the boy I've been talking about, and when to stop without any questions. Thank you for letting me be my crazy, weird, sometimes know-it-all self.

Thank you for sitting back and watching me spread my wings and fly. There is no way I could have known how to grow into the woman I am today if I hadn't watched you while I was growing up so I would know what kind of person I should aspire to be. Thank you for being the first (and the best) role model I ever had. You continue to inspire and amaze me every day with all that you do, and all that you are.

I don't know how I got so lucky to have a person in my life like you, but I thank the Lord every night for blessing me with the smartest, prettiest person to be my best friend, my role model, my confidant, my person and most importantly, my mother.

Love,

Your daughter

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Hello, 20, I Can't Wait To See What You Offer Me

The past 19 years were a blessing and I cannot wait to see what 20 has in store for me.

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Turning twenty is nothing special. My birthday was just another day, but, when I look back on the past nineteen years of my life, I see how special everything is.

In the past year alone, I have seen the most growth in myself. I found a better sense of who I am and who I want to be. I surrounded myself with better people and stepped away from toxic people. I pushed myself to try new things and trust in God more.

I remember being a little girl, fishing with my dad, playing with Barbies and being read bedtime stories every night.

I remember looking in the mirror as a little girl and picturing myself looking like my mom as a teenager and an adult.

When I was asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, I always said I wanted to be a ballerina, play hockey and make wine. Then in high school, I was asked what college I wanted to go to. In college, I am asked what I am majoring in. Now, I am asked what I am going to do after college and my friends and I are talking about retirement plans and weddings.

I have come so far from my dreams as a little girl, but the end goal is still the same: be happy.

When we are little, we hold our parents' hands in the parking lot, we go to them when we have a bad dream and we run to their arms when we have had a bad day. Now, I am nearly completely on my own.

My mom doesn't wake me up in the morning, so if I sleep through my alarm, I am screwed. My parents aren't holding my hands anymore so if I get lost or trip, I have to pick myself up and find my own way. When I have a long day and it just seems like everything is falling apart, I have to get myself together.

We rush to grow up and be on our own.

Then we get bills and we get fired from our job and we run out of clean clothes to wear and the dishes pile up and we realize that growing up isn't all we dreamed it would be. I know that no matter how old I am, I will still call my parents asking for help and I will still sit in my mom's lap. Because I am learning that adults don't know what they are doing, they just aren't afraid to ask questions.

There are a lot of people that start asking me what I will do after school, where I want to live, when I will get married and when I will have kids. I promise myself not to rush further into adulthood. I want to enjoy each day without worrying about tomorrow or the next 10 years. I will appreciate living in a dorm, stressing out over exams and eating copious amounts of ramen because the stressors I will face in the next 10 years will make me miss these moments.

So, when I blow out the candles on my birthday, I wish for happiness, not only for myself but for my friends and family.

I wish for strength because the next few years are not going to be easy. I wish for guidance, because I know I can't do it on my own. I wish for more laughs, more smiles, more puppy kisses and more memories.

I hope that 20 is the best year yet and I can't wait to see how much I change in the next year.

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