I am the first to whine and complain about the “hookup culture” that comes with college. “Why’s it so hard to find a decent guy?” is the basis of half of my friends’ conversations. We’ve all got stories of good guys gone awry — my go-to being when a guy invited me to “Netflix and chill” when his laptop wasn’t hooked up to the school’s Wi-fi and his TV wasn’t plugged in.
I came to college hoping that I was a Lily Aldrin destined to meet her Marshall, but nine seasons of "How I Met Your Mother" didn’t prepare me for what I was about to experience. All I wanted was someone I could take the time to get to know and, maybe, just maybe, find myself a guy who would pay for my Chipotle order, even just once.
Well, needless to say, I’m still paying for my own burrito bowls. However, I’ve gained so much wisdom and learned so much from this hookup culture that, whether I like it or not, has become a part of my life.
Something I picked up on very quickly (and has saved me a lot of heartaches) is that guys mean maybe 25 percent of what they say… on a good day. "I'll text you tomorrow. We'll hang out," are famous last words. More often than not, they kind of just say whatever they think will get them the best reaction from a girl. What’s hard is deciphering what they mean from what they are just saying to get you to go home with them. Don’t be the girl who falls for a guy’s BS over and over again. Trust your gut. If they seem like a skeezeball, they probably are.
As my idol, the great Brooke Davis, once so eloquently put; “hoes over bros.” This is the biggest truth ever. College can be the best experience of your life if you have good people to fill your days with laughs in the caf during lunch and late night pizza runs. My girlfriends are seriously some of the most amazing people I’ve ever met and will be a part of my life for years to come, unlike the blonde what’s-his-face I met in a frat basement last semester. I couldn't imagine my life without them and I would never want to be without them. Please don’t ever let a boy get in the way of your real, healthy friendships. I can’t think of anything worse than waking up one day and realizing you let an amazing friendship go for some boy.
A lot of my friends have boyfriends, and they are great guys who are some of my best friends as well, and I’m happy for them. In fact, I used to envy them. I love being on my own and doing my own thing without a guy by my side, but sometimes, all you want is to have someone to come home to at the end of the night and talk to about your day. I try to keep everything in perspective. I’m barely old enough to vote and have three years of college left. My life is just beginning and there is so much time to meet someone and settle down. I think everyone should have that mindset. You have so many years to fall in love, but only a few to be young and (slightly) irresponsible with your friends.
The last thing I have learned about boys in college actually isn’t about boys at all, but it’s the most important lesson of all. You have got to love yourself first before you can love someone else and expect them to love you too. The best advice I can ever give anyone is to realize that you are smart, funny and all the other good things, just the way you are. Any guy that doesn’t see this probably wears Crocs. You should be with someone who also recognizes all of the amazing qualities you see in yourself and brings them out in you every day.
The college dating and hookup game is a tough one to win, but it becomes so much easier when you realize it’s not a game at all. Do your own thing, have fun, recognize who you are and how you deserve to be treated, and everything else will fall into place eventually.
