I first heard the saying, "You go to college to find your bridesmaids, not your husband" from my mom not too long ago, and although you might think that it's a cliché, I think that it's one of the most important lessons for college girls to follow.
While it’s all fun and games the first semester or two of college, admit it: when you crave to be in love and suddenly everyone is finding boys to have snuggly movie nights with, you’re going to start wanting to have that special someone too. It’s completely normal to want to feel loved, but when you’re single, it can be hard to find a sense of comfort and relief.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: college is said to be the best four years of your life. It is surrounded by unforgettable memories, lifetime friendships and way too many microwavable mac-and-cheeses to count. So why, if we don’t have to be, are we tied down during these extraordinary years of our lives?
If you spend your time focusing on finding "the one," you will miss out on all of the other things right in front of you. Here are some things to consider if your stuck trying to find the perfect boy while you're at college, or even just feeling lonely and need some encouragement to keep going.
1. Guys come and go, but your friends stay forever.
Look at your life right now. Through the heartbreaks, the back-stabs, the cheating and the ice cream sobbing sessions, who is there through it all? Your best friends are there. They never leave your side no matter how many times you drunkenly want to call him or the non-stop obsessing over who he's with now. Take a second and realize that the people who never leave and are surrounding you, especially in your darkest days, are not boys, but your future bridesmaids.
2. They've seen you at your worst and still love you.
While your future boyfriend might think that he's seen you at your worst, it is nothing compared to what your friends see. Your friends love you no matter what you look like or how you might act. Your college friends are the ones who you go through everything alongside. Whether it's being roommates, going on spring break, those insanely memorable nights out, eating terrible dining hall food together or those late night study sessions at the library, your best friends in college are the ones that are always with you and never will leave no matter what.
3. Double the wardrobe, half the price.
Sure, wearing your boyfriend's oversized sweatshirt is nice, but I'll take my friend's fashionable outfits for a night out any day.
4. Never end up crying with a night out with your best friends.
We've all had our nights out sobbing over a stupid boy and let me tell you, they are not worth it. I'd rather have an amazing night out with my best friends than a drama-filled, crying, heartbroken night with a boy. Nothing ruins the potential of a great night than feeling bad about yourself and a boy should never ruin your night, especially one you don't even know. At the start of the night, you should focus on having a great night with your girls, not feeling like the night is a failure if you don't hook up with a cute guy at the party.
Just live in the moment and don't compare yourself to others. Be happy in your own skin and dance the night away with the people who actually love and care about you. When and if the time is right, the right person will walk into your life. Who knows? They might already be there, but if you don't take a step back and look around, you'll never have a chance!
5. No longer have to feel paranoid or unattached to the fun.
More likely than not, you’ll find your bridesmaids in college, not your husband. Also, if you do engage in a long-term college relationship that ends up falling through, you’re going to look back and remember all of the times that you spent at home fighting with your boyfriend instead of out making memories with your girlfriends. Spend your Sundays with your friends, laughing about the crazy things you did the night before, not curled up in bed worrying what your boyfriend was doing.
It's hard to relax and truly let loose and have fun during the weekend if you're not with your boyfriend. You constantly wonder where he is, what he's doing and your night becomes a night of worrying about him. We only have the privilege to go to college once, so instead of living these nights in absolute misery and paranoia, I plan on living life to the fullest these next couple of years.
6. Do you really want to end up married to that frat boy ...?
There’s a saying that boys are not even worth messing with until they turn at least 27-years-old. That cute frat boy that just admitted to you he did lines of cocaine and has already slept with 17 different girls? Yeah, well he’s a loser. As hot as he is, do you really want your future husband to have those sort of values? Also, who wants to have to constantly worry if their boyfriend is mature enough to take care of himself?
There will probably be no other time in your life when it is socially acceptable — almost encouraged — to get hammered several times a week and be free to do whatever you choose. That’s something "older you" would tell "younger you" to take advantage of while you can because life after college gets pretty boring.
7. "You'll never find someone as perfect as me."
Throughout these four years, you will probably meet a few people that will break your heart. They'll claim that they were the loves of your life and that you’ll never find someone as perfect as them again, but by the time you’re out of college and in a stable job, odds are, you’re going to find someone that will be put all the other “loves of your life” to shame.
8. College is a time to find YOURSELF.
College is the time to find yourself. We change from our freshman year of college to our senior year more than we probably ever will again, so don’t let someone hold you back. Now is the time to find out what makes you happy, so that when you do find “the one,” he is someone who you can share your interests with as opposed to someone that you think you need in order to feel whole.
Despite getting a degree, I've constantly heard girls say that they are in college to find a husband. College is the time to make a new start, to truly be yourself and to learn more about who you really are as a person. It is the perfect opportunity to find amazing friends that you get along with perfectly and who you can do anything alongside.
I'm lucky to say that I've found my future bridesmaids and I don't doubt that they will be my friends forever.
In the words of Carrie Bradshaw, "Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates, and guys are just people to have fun with."