You might assume that I'm here to call you out on all the horrible things you've done. You probably think I'm going classic Crazy Girl on you and tell the whole world what a terrible person you are. You probably expect me to play the victim. Well, I'm here to tell you that you're wrong. There is only one thing I'd like to say to you, and it is probably what you'd least expect.

Thank you.

Thank you for the unanswered text messages and broken plans. Thank you for the super romantic action of lighting my cigarettes and the drunk kisses you claim you don't remember. Thank you for making me believe that I stood a chance; for bundling up lots of pretty words and making me feel special, only to turn around and tell everyone else that I meant nothing to you. Thank you for finding me good enough for a drunken night of fun at a friend's party, but changing your mind once the sun came up.

Thank you for breaking my heart.

It may seem like an odd thing to express gratitude for, but the pain that came from giving a shit about you made me that much stronger. The tears I cried, the nights I spent awake wondering how to make myself more appealing to you, the endless conversations with friends dissecting your every word and action taught me something very important: there is no winning with boys like you.

It doesn't matter how flawless my outfit is, how perfect my makeup looks, how smart I am, how funny my jokes are or how good I am at beer pong. It'll never be enough for you. You get off on the chase and once you have me, the game is over. One girl will never be enough for you, you need them all. You're sexy, funny, charismatic, you light up the room when you walk in, and you know it. You're a better player of a game I never wanted to be a part of.

I'll tell you something, though. I may be the loser in this messed up game you love so much, but I'm the winner in the long run. Having a big heart doesn't make me weak and caring for others will never be something I dislike about myself. I can't even bring myself to regret the time I spent with you. I may fall hard and fast, I may eat up the words you throw at me like a starving man in the desert, but I refuse to be angry with myself for it. How can I be? Someday, when the right person does finally come along, I know that I can love with my whole heart and that's something, whether you believe it or not. To that end, thank you for showing me exactly what Mr. Wrong looks like.

I want you to do something for me. When you do finally grow up and get sick of the chase, take a good look around. Odds are, you'll end up just fine. People like you always do. But when you finally settle on that perfect girl who changes things for you, think back to the people you hurt. Think of the long line of girls just like me and ask yourself what the point of it all was. Did we boost your ego? Make you feel good about yourself for a few hours or one night? Were you just lonely? Or were you just afraid to take a chance and open yourself up to someone? I used to wonder those things, but the truth is it doesn't matter: it is what it is and you are who you are.

If you were wondering, I'll be fine. You may think you broke me, but that just isn't the case. I may have been sad for a little while. I may have cried myself to sleep, felt bad about myself and tried to figure out just where I went wrong, but I'm genuinely alright now. Crazy as it sounds, I even hope we can still be friends. Forgiveness is in my nature, for better or worse, and how could I hate someone who taught me so much about myself?

I know now that I'm stronger than I thought. I know what I'm willing to accept and what I refuse to settle for. I learned that the bad guy seems like a genuinely good idea at first, packaged complete with great hair and a killer smile. I learned to look before I leap, to still go all in with my heart completely open, but to take the time to make sure the person I'm giving myself to is willing to give themselves to me, too.

So, thank you for being one of the hardest lessons I've ever had to learn. The crash and fall may have hurt in the end, but I'll never regret the jump.