7 Red Flags To Avoid In Boys
Start writing a post
Relationships

the 7 kinds of guys to be wary of

"I love how you're not like other girls..."

741
the 7 kinds of guys to be wary of
ABC

Hey ladies, if you like boys, you've probably already noticed that they definitely fall into the "problematic fave" category, but there are some boys who are just problematic. Here's my top seven:

1. Boys who tell you you’re not like other girls

First of all, other girls are great. I'd be honored to be half as intelligent, witty, brave, resourceful, compassionate, or effortlessly cool as any of the women I know. Second of all, he shouldn't have to tear down others to give you a compliment. If he wanted to tell you you're special, he could have just as easily told you that you're unlike anyone he's ever met. Making it specific to other women is likely indicative of some of his more prejudice and unflattering assumptions about women as a whole.

2. Boys who don’t have any female friends

This really just begs the question: Why can't you maintain a platonic relationship with someone of the opposite gender? Is it because you don't think a woman could have enough in common with to warrant becoming friends? Are you only able to see women as love interests or potential love interests? Are women making a conscious effort to stay away from you? If so, why? There are just too many questions for this to not to be a major red flag.

3. Boys who talk about how crazy their ex is

Some people legitimately have crazy exes. However, chances are not all of his exes were crazy. Boys who try to discredit or invalidate the emotions of others by writing them off as crazy are canceled. There's a difference between someone being majorly clingy or obsessive and someone who just wants to spend time with you every so often. Obviously, we don't know the whole story so unless you've got solid proof, you could be his next "crazy" ex.

4. Boys who display shady character

If he seems untrustworthy, uncompassionate, unreliable, or whatever the case may be, chances are that's not going to change just because you're now in the equation. This really applies to people in general.

5. Boys who hang around shady characters

If his friends are problematic, chances are he's problematic too. It's hard to hang around dogs and not get fleas. This isn't to say that if he hangs around liars and thieves he's a liar or a thief, but it does mean to some degree he is enabling or willing to turn a blind eye to this behavior, which is arguably just as bad.

6. Boys who are nice

He's the thing about nice guys; they think that all they have to be is nice to get what they want. The problem is, in theory, everyone should be nice. Nice, if you think about it, is just another way of saying polite or inoffensive. So, that should be the baseline requirement. You're better than a nice guy. You deserve a good guy. If the only thing you can think to describe a boy you're interested in is "nice," it's time to continue the search.

7. Boys who will make major lifestyle for you

Anyone who is willing to change a major belief or aspect of themselves to be with you is worth a closer look. This isn't the same as your introvert boyfriend going to a party with you because he knows you'll appreciate it. This is changing a part of an identity or desires to be perceived as more desirable. Personally, I don't want you to tell me you want what I want or believe what I believe because you think it'll make me happy. It almost comes across as a bit deceitful. I have significantly more respect for someone who says "Hey, that's not for me or who I am, but I respect this aspect of your life." If it's something we can both look past then that's great, if not, that's also fine. It's better to be with someone who is suited to you based on their actual wants, values, and beliefs.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

78598
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

152458
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments