Hey ladies, if you like boys, you've probably already noticed that they definitely fall into the "problematic fave" category, but there are some boys who are just problematic. Here's my top seven:
1. Boys who tell you you’re not like other girls
First of all, other girls are great. I'd be honored to be half as intelligent, witty, brave, resourceful, compassionate, or effortlessly cool as any of the women I know. Second of all, he shouldn't have to tear down others to give you a compliment. If he wanted to tell you you're special, he could have just as easily told you that you're unlike anyone he's ever met. Making it specific to other women is likely indicative of some of his more prejudice and unflattering assumptions about women as a whole.
2. Boys who don’t have any female friends
This really just begs the question: Why can't you maintain a platonic relationship with someone of the opposite gender? Is it because you don't think a woman could have enough in common with to warrant becoming friends? Are you only able to see women as love interests or potential love interests? Are women making a conscious effort to stay away from you? If so, why? There are just too many questions for this to not to be a major red flag.
3. Boys who talk about how crazy their ex is
Some people legitimately have crazy exes. However, chances are not all of his exes were crazy. Boys who try to discredit or invalidate the emotions of others by writing them off as crazy are canceled. There's a difference between someone being majorly clingy or obsessive and someone who just wants to spend time with you every so often. Obviously, we don't know the whole story so unless you've got solid proof, you could be his next "crazy" ex.
4. Boys who display shady character
If he seems untrustworthy, uncompassionate, unreliable, or whatever the case may be, chances are that's not going to change just because you're now in the equation. This really applies to people in general.
5. Boys who hang around shady characters
If his friends are problematic, chances are he's problematic too. It's hard to hang around dogs and not get fleas. This isn't to say that if he hangs around liars and thieves he's a liar or a thief, but it does mean to some degree he is enabling or willing to turn a blind eye to this behavior, which is arguably just as bad.
6. Boys who are nice
He's the thing about nice guys; they think that all they have to be is nice to get what they want. The problem is, in theory, everyone should be nice. Nice, if you think about it, is just another way of saying polite or inoffensive. So, that should be the baseline requirement. You're better than a nice guy. You deserve a good guy. If the only thing you can think to describe a boy you're interested in is "nice," it's time to continue the search.
7. Boys who will make major lifestyle for you
Anyone who is willing to change a major belief or aspect of themselves to be with you is worth a closer look. This isn't the same as your introvert boyfriend going to a party with you because he knows you'll appreciate it. This is changing a part of an identity or desires to be perceived as more desirable. Personally, I don't want you to tell me you want what I want or believe what I believe because you think it'll make me happy. It almost comes across as a bit deceitful. I have significantly more respect for someone who says "Hey, that's not for me or who I am, but I respect this aspect of your life." If it's something we can both look past then that's great, if not, that's also fine. It's better to be with someone who is suited to you based on their actual wants, values, and beliefs.
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