Why I Am Boycotting Beyoncé: A Satirical Piece
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Why I Am Boycotting Beyoncé: A Satirical Piece

She really crossed the line this time, guys....

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Why I Am Boycotting Beyoncé: A Satirical Piece
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I used to be a Queen Bey fan and a devoted one. I even have a shirt that says “Flawless” that I purchased for $1,880,000.95 and my left kidney at her and Jay-Z’s “On The Run” tour at Soldier Field in Chicago. I dedicated an entire playlist on Spotify just for her songs and erected a life-size poster of her in my dorm room…Sadly, I can no longer support her.

Here is a list of reasons why Beyoncé’s “Formation”— both the video and the Super Bowl performance— is hateful.

1. Costumes of Black Panther uniforms are racist.

It's astonishing that she and her dancers would honor such a cause. For those who are unfamiliar with the Black Panthers, they were a group established in 1964 who dared to fight against white supremacy. They preached violent ideas such as “decent housing fit for the shelter of human beings” and “education for the people." They insisted that people of color deserved basic human rights and even went so far as to propose new, less disenfranchising policies and legislation. My mother, who was a child when the Black Panther movement rose, recounts horror stories of walking the streets of Chicago and witnessing Black Panther members distributing food to hungry children and providing medical service to sick people who were denied healthcare elsewhere. Horrifying. The Panthers wanted the black community in America to rise up and prosper, which is racist because black empowerment inevitably leads to the oppression of whites. Understand this: if people of color think they deserve the same rights as a white person, they are being racist. Just as if a woman thinks she deserves the same rights as a man, she is being a man-hater. Just as if gay people think they deserve the same rights as a straight person, they are anti-heterosexual—— You get it. The Black Panthers and Beyoncé are Pro-Black which means they are automatically anti-white. Logic, guys.

2. Using the Super Bowl as a platform for politics is inappropriate and uncalled for.

Football is wholesome. Football should be a safe space to ignore social issues and, in the words of Jessica Williams, “[to watch] 300 pound men give each other concussions while the crowd cheers like we’re extras in the movie ‘Gladiator.'" Beyoncé can preach all she wants, but she should do it somewhere else.

In my safe football space, the last thing I need to hear is Beyoncé’s radical hate speech about how black men and women are “full of potential.” Yes, Beyoncé, you can carry hot sauce in your bag. Just don’t shove it in my face.

3. Saying “stop shooting us” to police is anti-police.

Say there’s an E. Coli outbreak in Chipotle food. Would you be disrespectful enough to say “stop selling us poisonous food” to a Chipotle executive? No, because you respect the people of Chipotle who serve you. And by the way, not all Chipotle employees give out contaminated food, so by saying “stop selling us poisonous food” you are claiming that ALL Chipotle employees are evil, subhuman antagonists. Waging a war on them. This same principle applies to police forces.

Sure, over 100 unarmed black people were shot and killed by police in 2015, but for Beyoncé to muster the audacity to attack police officers by saying “stop shooting us” is crossing the line. No, she didn’t explicitly say “all police officers are terrible people who should be fired and damned,” but she basically said that because she said “stop shooting us.” Logic. The irreverence is just embarrassing.

4. Featuring only black female dancers in her video and performance is racist.

What about white dancers? Where is the representation for white dancers? She excluded white people completely. Soon, because logic, there will be no place for white people in entertainment. Coldplay doesn’t count because he’s British. I just wish people of color understood what it feels like to not see yourself represented in a piece of entertainment. They have it so good. They’re so exclusive… It’s like… First you’re going to say “Black Lives Matter” as if white lives aren’t even important and then you’re going to not hire us to dance to “Formation”? How could she write a song that is not about me?

5. Millions of lobsters will be slaughtered for her popularization of Red Lobster.

Does no one care about lobsters? Someone has to say something! See, if Beyoncé performed a song about empowering lobsters, I’d be happy. But empowering an oppressed group of HUMANS? Way rude.

Look, I know she’s inspired me and millions of others to feel beautiful and powerful and capable for the past 15 years, and I know her empowering message is sort of the reason why I (and plenty of others) recovered from my eating disorder and depression, but like... I’m going to have to boycott her because she made ONE song that isn’t about me. Not cool, Bey. If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be sipping Cuervo WITH chaser (mayonnaise flavored seltzer is my preference) because I’m a sensible human being. #AllLivesMatter and everyone should be made to feel included in entertainment.

On a side note, I can’t wait to watch the Oscars!!

****
On a serious note, now, I'll see you all at the Formation tour.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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