We have all seen the memes and pictures of the list of things that girls say vs. what they actually mean when they say those things, right? Let me jog your memory. When a girl says fine, she actually means what you are saying or doing is absolutely not fine in any way, shape or form, but she is too pissed off to carry the conversation further. Sound familiar?

There are so many of these floating around on Twitter, Facebook and the like, so I decided it is only fair to give the girls a cheat sheet on what I’ve learned to be the list of things that guys say vs. what they actually mean. Granted, I am a girl so this list may not be 100% accurate, but these are my conclusions based on my accumulated experiences with the rare breed that is boy of the past 20 years.

Please note the sad truth that every boy and context is
slightly different. Use this list at your own discretion. And boys, please don’t cyber bully me now that I have released my findings. It is for the common good of all girls who spend nights dissecting and analyzing text messages with their friends, mulling over what exactly you meant by that, and how to respond.

“No”

Translation: "No”

“Yes”

 Translation: "Yes”

“Ok”

Translation: "Okay, but I am just too lazy to type the a and the y.”

“K”

 Translation: "Okay, but I am just too lazy to type the o, a, and the y. Or I am your dad.”

“Fine”

Translation: "I have lost interest in this conversation.”

“Nothing”

 Translation: "Nothing is ‘up,’ but I don’t want to carry on this convo.”

“Nothin”

 See "Nothing” above.

 “I’m just not looking for anything right now" 

Translation: "Commitment terrifies me.”

"We should hang out sometime"

Translation: "I think you’re cute but we will probably never hang out unless you ask me one day and I have nothing else going on."

"Come over"

Translation: "It is the middle of the night and I am lonely and probably drunk."

"I like you"

Translation: "I am probably in middle school."

"I think you’re cute"

Translation: "But there is a reason I am telling you via text and not in person."

"I’m sorry"

Translation: "You are ridiculous to argue with, I am throwing in the towel."

“Good morning”

Translation: “B****es love ‘good morning’ texts.”

So there you have it: an unscientific, biased theory of things that guys text girls and their hidden meanings. The world would be a whole lot simpler if we just said what we meant, both girls and guys, and neither had to guess. 

The world would actually be a whole lot simpler if text messaging was never created. But I have a solution to your problems! Guys, to avoid the ambiguity of text messages, an easy solution is the ancient method of asking a girl on a date, abandoned back in the 1990’s. Maybe you boys should try it sometime.