I often tease my parents that they care more about my romantic life than I do. It's lighthearted teasing of course, because I know their interest is out of the natural desire that every good parent has to see their children happy (and I suspect they secretly might want some grandkids eventually... just maybe!). Unfortunately, their motivations are not representative of the modern pressure on singles to be in a relationship.
Fortunately, God used Saint Paul to give us some wonderfully timeless wisdom about singleness in 1 Corinthians 7. Verse 27 (NLT) is the most relevant excerpt: "If you have a wife, do not seek to end the marriage. If you do not have a wife, do not seek to get married." The simplicity of this verse often overshadows to a modern audience how massively revolutionary it was, both in Saint Paul's day and now. Without wading into a proper discussion of the surrounding passage, let's look at why this statement is so outrageous then and now, and how it can encourage us.
Saint Paul was writing to a culture where there were no single people. To be single meant you were a prostitute. Caesar Augustus actually imposed a tax on widows if they did not remarry within a certain period of time after their husband's death. The culture placed so much emphasis on family structure as the source of meaning for one's existence that the idea of being content in one's singleness was utterly absurd. But that is exactly what Paul is undercutting in this and the surrounding passage: the action of placing one's hope in family and descendants instead of in God.
Let me clear up the biblical understanding of "hope" - it is a poor translation for the life-altering glorious assurance that comes from the Gospel and the future glory. Paul is showing that a true Christian in Roman culture did not have to bow to its perspective on sexuality and look to their descendants for meaning - God was now the one thing that truly satisfied him or her, and His promise of the future glory and an everlasting family of brothers and sisters in Christ negated any worldly pressure to have a family right now. Like all of the Gospel's implications, this was magnificently audacious.
What I have just articulated is the traditional family-centric idea of sexuality and its consequent pressure on young people to be "in a relationship," to use a modern term. Our current Western perspective on sexuality is different, but God's Word through Paul is just as relevant and revolutionary.
Anybody who has been single when Valentine's Day rolls around feels the conviction from the world that something must be wrong with them if they are not seeing someone. But Paul's implications make it clear that nothing could be further from the truth. After articulating the highest view of sexual intimacy of any culture or religion in human history in chapter 6, he comes right back in chapter 7 and states that you can live a perfectly Godly, happy life without it.
Our modern view of sexuality that the world seems to force down our throats is that you cannot live a truly fulfilling life until you have it. But with this view, all we have done is shifted our hope for meaning from our family to our sexual intimacy, and neither one can possibly satisfy the "God-shaped vacuum" we all have. Furthermore, no partner can ever live up to such expectations, not to mention the selfishness inherent in them. The severe harm resulting from the those expectations will effect each partner on a soul level, and I would posit that they are one of the main causes of the disintegration of the family in modern times.
Jesus cut right to this issue when he spoke with the woman at the well in John 4. In verses 15-18, she is basically asking Him about the meaning of life, and He instead turns the conversation to her love life. Why? Because that is what her hope was in, and it would always lead her to thirst again until she satisfied that eternal thirst with Him.
As a Christians, you live in the victory of Jesus over sin and the world. To truly live in that means to constantly work to place and keep your hope in the salvation brought by Christ's sacrifice and the future glory He promises. He is now your identity. This frees you to cope with the world's pressure in a way that honors God: to flourish while being content in your singleness, yet remaining open to how God will move in your life in the future.
Don't bow to the world's pressure. "[B]e of good cheer; I have overcome the world," John 16:33 (KJV).
