Book borrowing is a staple of intellectual friendships and college life. Nothing is quite like sharing a story ...and saving a little money on textbooks is great. But there are a number of not-so-great moments of panic and realization that are tangled in the sacred art of book borrowing.
1. The initial rush.
Your friend knows your taste enough to recommend a book! And the lender trusts you with their own book! It'll be nice to know whether you like the book enough to buy it. You don't even have to face the hassle of the library and rigid due dates.
2. Settling down.
This is where you read most of the book. Maybe your friend doesn't know you as well as you thought, maybe it's one of the best things you've ever rread and you don't want to give it back. Ususally it is somewhere in between. Your carefree reading is soon interupped by reality.
3. Crease and wrinkle paranoia.
If you're a frequent book borrower, you're doubtless going to encounter someone with a different idea of "book reverence" than you. You and the lender might have different thresholds for folded pages and crinkles. A "well-loved" book that is a bit smushed is one thing. A twice read tome that already has a broken spine and appears to have twenty years of dog ears is quite another.
If you're an accidental book shredder, you'd be best advised to buy your own books. But what if the person lending it is the careless one? Are you allowed to tape it? How much should you protect it from creases and wrinkles at your own hands?
Another scenario is borrowing from a perfectionist. Each crease on a page and creak of the cover leave you sweating. Will your friend notice each minute tear? Should you buy a second copy and "return" that one? ...Such a person would likely be able to tell. You're best off protecting the book and scrutinizing it for abuse at your own hands.
4. Book markings.
Similar to crease and wrinkle paranoia, are the opposing camps of "highlighting note scribblers" and the "blank margin preservers." Does your friend hate underlining? Did the book come with thorough annotations? Either way, it's best to keep your pens to yourself and not to judge other's reading styles too harshly.
5. Inconvenient amnesia.
This step is optional and not reccomended. Foolhardy and brash, you promised your friend that you "can totally finish it in a week or two!" However, it's closer to the two month (or two year) mark and returning it at this point is just awkward. You commence plotting a benevolent break in at the lender's home, dorm, work, locker, etc. to gently settle the book back in its old home. That way, when your friend is like, "Hey, are you ever going to return that book?" you put on your finest acting and say you gave it back ages ago. Make them doubt their memory, not your friendship. Ignore book's owner when they swear that it wasn't here before. Perhaps for the best, you decide not to go through with it.
6. Sudden paranoia.
Example: Oh, no, I don't remember where I left the book! Is it on my desk? Did I leave it at work? ...It couldn't be... not in the bathroom?! (You dash off to double and triple check.) Here you are plagued by random outbursts of panicked thoughts concerning the book. You fret over where you last left it and your desire to protect it means you'd be better off keeping it away from yourself. And your siblings, roommates, dog and small children.
7. The victorious return.
You've read the book (or have pretended to, anyways) and you hand it back. Whether it is a little late or just on time, your friendship will (probably) survive.
