Most days, I'm up before the sun. "Rise and grind, girl," I mumble to myself as I sip coffee, make my to-do list for the day, tweet my daily inspirational thought and hurry off to class.
I won't lie, I've never, ever been this exhausted in my life. The stress of managing two part-time jobs, sorority life, making time for friends and family, keeping up with the news, paying all my bills, keeping up with deadlines and making good grades all on top of successfully taking decent enough care of myself is practically impossible. Without a doubt, college so far is the best and also the absolute hardest thing I've ever had to do.
That being said, I do believe I was made for it. Being the obsessive-compulsive, anxious, introvert and old soul that I am, I was completely and utterly miserable pretty much all through high school. I didn't go to social events or games unless I had to, I didn't talk to anyone outside of my small circle of friends, and the mentality of most of the students there bothered me so much that on more than one occasion, I was frustrated to the point of tears.
Now that I'm a college student, a sorority sister, pursuing a double major all while being heavily involved on campus, I understand exactly why I hated those four years of high school so fiercely.
Generally speaking, the social expectation now is that people at least graduate high school. You can get a decent 9-5 job with a high school diploma. That isn't the issue. The issue is that because high school is seen by so many as something people just have to get through, there is an alarming lack of ambition.
The biggest difference between high school and college that I noticed almost immediately upon starting my first semester at Wichita State University this past fall, is this: in high school, people are there because they need to be. In college, people are there because they have life goals that they know will require much more than a high school diploma. These are people willing to go through many more years of schooling, pay enormous amounts of money to do so, and battle obscene amounts of stress, all with the knowledge that their time, money, and effort will pay off when they're finally able to do whatever it is that sets their heart on fire.
Nothing makes me happier than being surrounded by wildly ambitious people with strong hearts and brave souls. I get to go to school everyday now knowing that those are the people I'll get to spend my time with, celebrating victories and taking on challenges.
In realizing just how nice it is to be so insanely ambitious myself and to be surrounded by so many people who feel the same way, I've come to feel so genuinely sorry for those who lack ambition and for those who will probably never know the feeling, because I can't imagine going about life without the burning desire to make the most out of my existence. I've never wanted to wake up in the morning feeling like everything is exactly the way I want it to be, or to only be satisfied rather than proud. I live for the moments that make me realize just how much I have yet to improve. I am fearful of mediocrity. I am a relentless lover of effort and a die-hard dreamer, both for myself and for everyone who will never know what it is like to plant oneself in the soil of the world and to bloom bravely on.
