Family. It is one of the more important treasures in our lives. These are the people who have shaped us, helped us grow, helped us learn right from wrong, taught us how to love and feel, and loved us unconditionally no matter what the circumstances were. Family, is always there for you... or at least I thought so.
Have you ever had that one side of the family that you never fully got along with, never fully got to know, never shared anything in common with? My story started even before I was born. I grew up in a small town in Rhode Island with my mother, my father, and my younger brother. I have a rather big family, I have both of my grandparents and one of my great grandparents on my mother's side along with many aunts, uncles and cousins. On my father's side, I thought I once had both my grandparents along with many aunts, uncles and cousins.
Growing up I never fully understood what the family drama consisted of and why it would happen. I never understood why my father and my mother were treated so poorly by my father's side of the family or why my brother and I were always the odd ones out of all the kids, but I always knew that something bad was going on by how upset my parents were. As I grew up and started to really understand these types of people I distanced myself. Many birthdays would go by without even receiving a phone call and many holidays and just regular days would go by without seeing or hearing from anyone. At fifteen years old, I had a traumatic event happen to me that could have ruined my immediate family. I remember sitting in my bedroom on the edge of my bed, crying and asking myself how could someone just live to try and ruin others' lives without caring of the circumstances? I remember my father receiving an email from a very important and inspirational person in my life who reminded him that our family has strong roots and that can never be broken.
From this day forward I realized that this wasn't family. Family isn't supposed to tear you down in hopes of breaking you in every shape and form. Family isn't supposed to be negative and spiteful. I could write for hours and hours and have thousands of words on how these events in my life make me feel. Family is supposed to be there for you always, always love you, appreciate you, and help you through life. I am thankful that I learned all of this at a young age, because of this I have become a better and stronger person. I have learned how to never treat my family. I have learned to appreciate the family I do have so much more. My mother's side of the family has put in enough effort to make up for the missing other side, especially my grandparents. My grandparents have played the role of making up for two others that were supposed to be there.
My father's side of the family never fully saw my brother and I grow up. They never watched me go to prom, they never watched me receive my high school diploma, or send me off for my first day of college. They won't be there for my college graduation next year. They won't be there for the day that I graduate from the police academy. They won't be there to help me with my first home, my future wedding, my future career, to see my future children and watch them grow. In my own opinion I think that my brother and I have grown up to be pretty awesome people. We are mature, we will be successful, we are happy, we are caring, we are healthy, and we are thankful not only for the life we live that my father and mother have both worked so hard for to give us, but for our parents, our mother's side of the family, and for each other. We are strong and we have always deserved so much more then what they have done. As an older sibling, I wish I could have protected my brother from all the pain he endured from this when he was young but I know today he has learned from this in the same ways I have and has only had it benefit him.
A broken family is something I never wish upon anyone. It will break you in ways that you never knew you could break. I hope that others who are going through or have gone through a situation similar to mine realize that you can make it through this and come out on top. Turn every negative into a positive, let it shape you, let it make you great. You don't need anyone who doesn't see your full potential and who doesn't realize how great you are. I just want to say thank you for those who never gave up on me, who have always loved me and my brother. Who treated us the way we deserved to be treated. You know who you are, I love you.
