Alton Brown. Philando Castile, among many others that have been killed this year and last. But, why? The endless conversation we need to have about these deaths is getting bigger and bigger on the spectrum of things. We have kept silent for so long, we need to have this discussion. Too many people are being murdered by police brutality and how is that okay? I don’t know what world you all live in, but to me that is wrong.

Alton Brown was selling CDs. That is all he was doing. I have been to L.A. on Hollywood BLVD., and there were Black people selling CDs on the street to me. They were perfectly fine. So, why was it an issue this time? Philando Castile was in the car with his daughter and his girlfriend/wife. HE WAS IN THE CAR WITH HIS DAUGHTER. Grabbing the permit for his gun because that is what you do when you see the police. You get out your information and registration and abide by the law that is taking place. So, why was he shot? Why are there almost 600 caskets being bought for no reason. Why?

As an African-American I am scared to go outside. I am a twenty-two-year-old female and fairly tall. I am scared to walk outside my house because of the things happening in this world. Should I be scared to be Black? Should I go to sleep at night wishing I was not Black because maybe then we would not be getting killed? Why as a twenty-two-year-old am I wishing I was not my own color? Why am I wishing that I had privilege because then maybe we would be safe? I should not be frightened to be Black, I should not be afraid of my cousins who meet the descriptions of all of these Black people who have been murdered. I should not have to want to call them or ask my family members if they are okay because the world is fucking crazy right now. I should not have to. Just like these people should not have to mourn their brothers, sisters, children or love of their lives. They should not have to mourn a twelve-year-old child. They should not.

We should not have a 2013 till anything. This should not have been a nationwide epidemic. Black women are not even in the media. It is not just Black men being shot, it is Black women too. Sandra Bland, may she rest in peace, was the only one who got some limelight. We need more focus on females in this movement. Because that is why I am scared. It is not just my cousins that are being targeted. It is Black women too. Stay aware of your surroundings. I started this thinking about Alton and Castile – but, now I am just pure sad.

The fact that I am going to have to tell my future child about what happened and what is happening, is what makes me sad. The fact that I have to explain to them that Black people were getting murdered and were not resisting arrest, were not doing anything wrong, were following the rules is what makes me sad. I have to make them afraid of being Black before they even have time to appreciate it. Before they even have time to appreciate how beautiful our skin is and how beautiful our faces are. That is what makes me sad. I have to convey that to someone who is not old enough to even know the outside world. I have two nieces, and eventually my sisters are going to have to have that talk with them. They are beautiful and they are Black. My oldest niece is turning seven years old – a little girl was shot by the name of Aiyana Stanley-Jones in Detroit in 2010, by a police raid that was not even meant for that home. She was seven. She was not even old enough to sustain what was going on. All she knew was she liked The Little Mermaid. That fact that I am frightened for my seven-year-old niece is… a shame.

607 people have been shot by the police and murdered, for lack of better wording. There is a website that can show you everyone that has been killed by the police. All different races and all different genders. 100 people were killed in June alone. This is an epidemic. This needs to stop. It needs to stop. And, I beg you – please stop. I don’t want to be scared for myself or my Black people anymore. I don’t want to be scared going to my college campus that anything can happen that day. I am scared to drive, because you never know. I don’t want to be S C A R E D anymore. I want to be free. I want to feel freedom. That is all we want. Equality and freedom. We deserve that.

The Dallas shooting has become something revolutionary. It is not right. But, they are trying to get us to the point where we do that. So, then people can say “that’s why they are getting killed, because they do things like that.” They want to see us fall and go crazy, so they have a reason. But, is that still a reason to kill us? I leave that question up to you.