Black Friday Is SO Overrated

Black Friday Is SO Overrated

Sincerely, a broke, Thanksgiving loving, college student.


The year is 2008. Facebook is on the rise, YouTube is slowly becoming a Thing, and no one could stop talking about the Jonas Brothers. It's November, and I watch as my parents hustle around Costco, buying up every deal and pushing me aside in the shopping cart to make room for the turkey. I remember the ride home, surrounded by gigantic rolls of toilet paper, packs of fried onions, and the sense of excitement for the upcoming holiday.

The day comes, we have a feast laid out, and seeing as how we had just moved to Southern California, there was only one other family in the vicinity that could make it to Thanksgiving dinner without having to drive an excess 300 miles. My mom had toiled since the morning on the food, and my dad had stocked the fridge with Heineken while also fiddling with the karaoke machine. Around three hours before the designated Thanksgiving Dinner Time, we got a phone call.

"Hey, we're so sorry but we don't think we'll be able to make it tonight. We're at J.C. Penny right now and there's a really good deal on winter boots so we're probably going to wait it out. Save us some leftovers!"

The crushing disappointment on my parent's face sealed the deal for me. Black Friday was the scum of the earth.

"Black Friday", even the name was vile. Who's idea was it to follow such a nice sounding holiday like "Thanksgiving", a beautiful day with slightly dubious origins that nevertheless celebrated being thankful for what you have, with an event so sinister sounding that it might as well have come from a Halloween movie? Black Friday. There have been deaths on Black Friday. 10 so far, and 11 injuries counting.

All for what? A TV that's 50$ cheaper? A Cuisine Art Mixer for 25% off? You don't even bake that often Karen, don't delude yourself. Worst of all are the people who are literally stabbing other people for a frickin parking spot. Go on any other day and that Walmart parking lot would be empty and all yours- go on Black Friday? Get impaled.

Okay, maybe I understand in the dark years without Amazon, or Ebay, or TaoBao, or whatever, there was a kind of draw to Black Friday. It was like Christmas but for adults. You had to buy your own presents, whatever but now, in the age of cyber shopping and one-day deliveries, I don't understand it anymore. They even have a thing called Cyber Monday! And I just got a notification from Amazon that they'd be having "Black Friday" all week next week.

So, this Thanksgiving, resist the urge to pack up your car with camping supplies and travel the exotic location of Macy's to sit out in the cold for 42$ off a portable grill and enjoy the holiday inside, in the warmth, surrounded by food as it should be. And if only if, you're full and happy and fat, and you feel a slight twitch to shop for a 12 pack of cotton Nike socks, pick up your phone or computer, and go to town. You've earned it.

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10 Things Someone Who Grew Up In A Private School Knows

The 10 things that every private school-goer knows all too well.


1. Uniforms

Plaid. The one thing that every private school-goer knows all too well. It was made into jumpers, skirts, shorts, scouts, hair ties, basically anything you could imagine, the school plaid was made into. You had many different options on what to wear on a normal day, but you always dreaded dress uniform day because of skirts and ballet flats. But it made waking up late for school a whole lot easier.

2. New people were a big deal

New people weren't a big thing. Maybe one or two a year to a grade, but after freshman year no one new really showed up, making the new kid a big deal.

3. You've been to school with most of your class since Kindergarten

Most of your graduating class has been together since Kindergarten, maybe even preschool, if your school has it. They've become part of your family, and you can honestly say you've grown up with your best friends.

4. You've had the same teachers over and over

Having the same teacher two or three years in a row isn't a real surprise. They know what you are capable of and push you to do your best.

5. Everyone knows everybody. Especially everyone's business.

Your graduating class doesn't exceed 150. You know everyone in your grade and most likely everyone in the high school. Because of this, gossip spreads like wildfire. So everyone knows what's going on 10 minutes after it happens.

6. Your hair color was a big deal

If it's not a natural hair color, then forget about it. No dyeing your hair hot pink or blue or you could expect a phone call to your parents saying you have to get rid of it ASAP.

7. Your school isn't like "Gossip Girl"

There is no eating off campus for lunch or casually using your cell phone in class. Teachers are more strict and you can't skip class or just walk right off of campus.

8. Sports are a big deal

Your school is the best of the best at most sports. The teams normally go to the state championships. The rest of the school that doesn't play sports attends the games to cheer on the teams.

9. Boys had to be clean-shaven, and hair had to be cut

If you came to school and your hair was not cut or your beard was not shaved, you were written up and made to go in the bathroom and shave or have the head of discipline cut your hair. Basically, if you know you're getting written up for hair, it's best just to check out and go get a hair cut.

10. Free dress days were like a fashion show

Wearing a school uniform every day can really drive you mad. That free dress day once a month is what you lived for. It was basically a fashion show for everyone, except for those upperclassmen who were over everything and just wore sweat pants.

Cover Image Credit: Authors Photos

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