Ever since I was little, I have known that I was adopted. This surprises some people. When I tell people that I am adopted they ask me if I’ve always known. My adoption has never been something I felt like I had to hide, and I believe that has a lot to do with the family I have been raised in. I have always been very open about my adoption, but I’ve never really addressed my feelings toward my birth mother. I’ve never met you but here are a few things I would like to say to you someday.

To My Birth Mother,

First of all, I want to say thank you. Your decision to part with your baby girl and place her with a couple you barely knew is the best thing that could have ever happened to me. You chose life, and that choice has allowed me to grow into a strong, independent young woman. You decided to give me the chance at a better life and because of your decision, I have grown up surrounded by people who have loved and supported me unconditionally. I have never been told that my dreams were too big, or too hard to achieve.

I may not know you, but I am forever grateful for you. There have been days where I have sat and wondered why you chose adoption. There have been days where I have been angry because unlike most kids my age, I don’t know where I came from, or what my exact heritage is, but I am always reminded that if you had not chosen adoption, I would not be living the life I am today. I would not be the young woman I am today. I wouldn’t have my amazing older brother who, although he annoys me, is my rock and biggest supporter. I wouldn’t have my mom who, despite how nutty she is, has been my absolute best friend and most trusted confidante. I wouldn’t have my dad who, even though we don’t always see eye to eye, would do anything and everything he could to make sure I am safe and loved. I wouldn’t have attended the high school where I met my best friends. I wouldn’t have met some of my biggest role models in my amazing teachers. I would be living a completely different life to the one I have today. One that may not have given me the opportunities I have had for the last 18 years.

I hope you know how much I love you. I will always love you. I will always see you as one of the strongest people in the world. I cannot imagine how hard it must have been to carry a baby for 9 months and then watch her go off with a different family. I love my family more than anything in the world, and I hope you know that I am so happy that you chose my parents as the family to raise me. You are ultimately the reason that I have the life I do today because you made the selfless decision to give me the chance at a different, possibly better, life than what you could have given me. Because of your decision, I have a different understanding of how families can be formed, and I have been able to educate people about adoption.

I think about you a lot. I think that’s natural. I wonder if I look like you did when you were my age. I wonder if you could sing because God knows my mom can’t. I wonder if you’re as stubborn as I am, or if you like the same things I do. I wonder about your taste in music, what you do for fun, and what you think about the world we live in. I wonder if you ever think about me. But most of all, I wonder if you would like me if we met on the street. I like to think that you would. I pray for you every day. I hope that you are happy and healthy. I hope you live your life with no regrets.

I want you to know that I am happy. Like I said, I have grown up in a big, loving family, and I cannot imagine my world without them. They have had my back through every up and down in my life. They have supported me no matter how crazy my dreams have been, and they have taught me to love myself no matter what. I have been taught to respect and love myself no matter what other people may say about me. To forgive others because, in the end, I am the one who will be hurt if I don’t. I have been taught that what I think of myself is more important than what any other person may think of me. My family has taught me that love is unconditional and it is the most important thing you could have in this world. My family is everything to me, and I would not have them if you had not chosen to give me the opportunity to have this life.

So thank you. Thank you for being strong enough to choose life. Thank you for loving me enough to give me the chance at a better life. Thank you for choosing a family that taught me that nothing is impossible.

I love you.

Love,

Maggie