Life is full of life lessons. Some we learn the easy way, and some we unfortunately have to learn the hard way. No matter what, throughout your entire life you never stop learning. No one ever knows everything or eventually figures every single thing out--that's just the way it is. In my 19 years of life, I've only experienced a tiny portion of life. I really haven't lived that much yet. Even though I feel like I've learned almost everything, I most definitely haven't. I"M ONLY 19. Although, I have learned a few big lessons throughout this portion of my life good and bad. I'd like to write to you about the biggest ones I've learned so far.
Not everyone will always like you.
If you're a people pleaser, you probably understand what I'm saying. People pleasures care about what people think sometimes a little too much. Always wanting to just keep the peace and hoping that everyone just gets along. That used to be me. Never let yourself be a people pleaser, because you literally can never and wont ever possibly please everyone. Some people just won't like you. You may not even give them a reason to not like you, they just don't. Sometimes people are just flat out mean. You can't let this get to you. What someone irrelevant thinks about you, shouldn't matter to you. You just have to get yourself to that point where you realize the problem lies within themselves, not you. When people are unhappy with themselves, they take it out on other people in mean and negative ways. That being said, you should never, ever attempt to morph yourself or change yourself to make someone "like you". Your goals in life don't include pleasing someone who couldn't care any less about your well-being. Everyone is different for a reason and we all enjoy different kinds of company, and that's perfectly okay. You can't make everyone happy.
You don't owe everyone an explanation for your choices or preferences. It's okay to miss that party.
You don't have to attend every single social event. You aren't going to die just because you miss a party. If you just want to chill and hangout at home sometimes, there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with enjoying time spent at home with family. Maybe you don't even really like going out to parties much, which again is okay. Everyone is their own person and everyone has different things that they enjoy doing. Just because yours isn't the same as someone else's doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you. You're allowed to do your own things and be you; you don't have to do what everyone else is doing just because everyone else is doing it and they enjoy it. What others enjoy isn't always what you enjoy. I wish I could scream that from the mountain tops.
Sometimes you miss the memories, not the person.
Missing someone and missing the memories you made with them/the things you did with them are two completely different things. Sometimes people aren't who we think they are, and we're actually missing the memories--not them. People often change and you don't always know who they really are. So if you find yourself wondering why you're missing someone that you shouldn't be missing, it's probably because you're missing the memories, not them.
One-sided relationships suck; don't put up with being treated like you don't exist.
I wish that I could tell every single person out there how important it is that you value yourself and what you deserve. You matter; don't ever let anyone else tell you otherwise. Never put up with being treated like you don't exist or that you aren't important. In a relationship, you should never feel like you are constantly putting in all the effort or that you are constantly the one doing everything for the other person while they do nothing for you. Find someone who actually appreciates everything that you do for them. Find someone who puts just as much effort in as you do. Sometimes people just aren't ready for how amazing you are and they aren't ready to really truly love someone who loves them unconditionally. They aren't mature enough yet. One-sided relationships are emotionally draining and you should never have to constantly be questioning yourself and your self-worth based off of how you're being treated. Don't let this cause you to be insecure in everything that you do. Don't stay, because I promise you that you will find someone that cares about you as much as you do them and you'll find someone better. No matter what society has us believing, there are still good people out there. Good comes to those who wait.
Sometimes you just have to let things go; some things are better left unsaid.
You can't control everything. Bad things happen and some people do terrible things. You can't stop this, that's just the way it is. If someone is going to speak about you in a negative way they're going to. It's always good to stick up for yourself, but make sure you do it in a positive way. If you defend yourself in the same manner that they used to hurt you, you're basically giving them the fuel to talk about you even more. However, if you fight back in a "nice" way, they can't say anything about you. It's kind of like the famous phrase "kill them with kindness" because even though it can be really hard to do that, the best revenge is continuing to be kind to those who aren't kind to you. Yes it sucks and sometimes the things people say and what they do to you can be very painful, but we have to let that go sometimes. It's not always the answer to say something back; some things are just better left unsaid. Be above them and rise up to be a stronger person. Use the negativity as fuel to be stronger.
Choose to be yourself and choose to be happy.
As I've said before in previous articles, happiness is a choice. There's no destination in life where you are truly always happy because life will never stop throwing obstacles at you. This is perhaps the biggest lesson I've learned so far. To be happy, you have to choose to be. You have to choose to smile. Most of all, you have to be yourself. Be happy and confident in your own skin and do what YOU want to do, not what everyone else wants to do. You are allowed to be different. You're supposed to be different! We are all made different and that's one of the best things about us humans.
