One night last year, I was at my big's apartment doing my laundry because I was a freshman and did not feel like paying to do my millionth load of laundry. We were hanging out with her roommates when one of them told me about this girl who dropped out of her sorority. And don't get me wrong, I can understand dropping a sorority for many reasons, but this girl did not tell anyone she was dropping out, not even her little. Her little heard that she dropped from other girls in her sorority that she wasn't even close with.
When the little texted her big and asked why she dropped and why she didn't tell her, the big just said she did not think it was a big deal. Little responded with, “But I'm your little? Don't you think I should have known?"
What breaks my heart is that her big responded with, “It's not a big deal. Big and little are just labels anyways. They don't mean anything."
And that is where she's wrong. Big and little are more than just titles or labels.
Being a big and a little is more than just candy, stuffed animals, stickers, T-shirts, and presents. It is more than just posting numerous pictures with the captions “Love my littleeeeeee" or “I have the best big everrrrrr" with an extreme amount of heart and smiley emoji on Instagram. It is a special bond that two girls share in the world of Greek life. It is something that lasts beyond just four years of college.
Your big spent weeks crafting for you just so that everything was just right, and she spent the week lying to you saying “I wish I could've been your big" or “someone else called dibs on you" and sending you BS hints in your big/little baskets just so you are all that much more excited when reveal time comes.
A big is someone who takes you under her wing and adopts you as her own. Bigs are girls who love you unconditionally — your college role model, if you will.
She is someone you look up to, someone whom you strive to be just like.
She is the one who will always be there for you, no matter what.
She is there during the middle of the day when you need someone to go to Starbucks with.
She is the one you want to pre-game with before all the mixers and parties.
But most importantly, she is the one who is there for you in the middle of the night when your boyfriend breaks up with you or cheats on you, or when your parents tell you the are getting a divorce.
She is the one you can always go to for comfort and will always do whatever she can to make you feel better about yourself — whether it takes a wine and chocolate night while watching "Friends" or "Gossip Girl," or a night out on the town. She knows you better than you know yourself. Having a big sister is one of the most valuable privileges of being in a sorority.
Not only is having a big an honor; having a little is, as well. Your little is the girl you spotted during rush who just had that thing about her that made you think, “Dibs, she's mine." She is the girl who was your bid day buddy, the girl you welcomed to the sorority you both call home. You showed her the way through rush blowout, fraternity parties, mixers, and how to dress up for Halloween so she didn't end up looking like Cady Heron at Chris Isen's Halloween party.
Your little is the girl you show off to all your friends. She is the one you will stick up for no matter what. If it is a bad breakup she is going through, having school problems, family issues or if your risk management is out to get her, you are always there for her when she needs you. You teach her how to be the best big so that when she gets her little, your grand-little, she is just as spoiled as your little was. You teach her how to be a better version of herself, and you can only hope that she takes as much from you as you took from your big.
She's your mini-me, and you love her until the day you die.
Being a big and a little is way more than just a label or a title. It is a special privilege, an irreplaceable bond that two girls share. These girls will be by your side the day you get married, and you will be there for them on their big days. Big and little is something that lasts way more than four years short years at college. It is a friendship that lasts a lifetime.
