Since Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson's whirlwind (aka fast as f*ck) engagement, many people are under the impression that Pete just has to have that big dick energy to get hitched to "the hottest girl ever."
Of course, big dick energy isn't just about one's size, but Ari let it not-so-subtly slip on Twitter that Pete has a 10-inch schlong. So maybe that's part of it, too.
Sadly, most men are not Pete Davidson. They don't have that big dick energy.
Here are 12 things men do on the daily in 2018 that prove they have the opposite of big dick energy—little dick energy:
1. Blame the way you treat girls on being drunk, high, or "with the boys"
Grow up.
2. Always crave attention and never check in on friends
You wanna know why guys like Pete Davidson have big dick energy? It's because they're humble and supportive as f*ck of their friends.
3. Comment on tons of girls' half-naked Instagram posts
Following some models? Not a problem. Liking their posts every once in awhile? OK, you do you! Commenting on their posts with thirsty as f*ck emojis? Bye.
4. Neglect to show your girl you love and appreciate her regularly
If you have commitment issues or have trouble expressing yourself, search inward to find yourself or get professional help. It's 2018. We should be respecting, appreciating, and loving THE F*CK out of anyone who matters to us.
5. Decide you're "too busy" to take care of your health
Health is wealth. Don't be poor.
6. Be financially irresponsible
Pro-tip: If you want big dick energy, think about saving up your money instead of spending it on useless sh*t. And maybe take your girl out from time to time, too.
7. Not want to introduce your girl to your friends
Three words for you: LITTLE. DICK. ENERGY.
8. Or shy away from showing her off
No, you don't have to post on social media about her if you're not down with that, but that doesn't mean you can't show her off in other ways, like around friends and family.
9. Claim all of your Exes are insane
Own up to your mistakes. There's no way every single one of your exes was crazy. Have you ever considered the common denominator?
10. Overcompensate for something by obsessively talking about your muscle car or lifted truck
'Nuff said.
11. Talk about all of your rich or successful friends to try and impress other people
So your acquaintance from high school works for a Fortune 500 and another has a millionaire Daddy. Cool. How does this affect you or me?
12. Or worse, brag about every single one of your own achievements
We all deserve to pat ourselves on the back every once in awhile. But if you want big dick energy, let some of your accomplishments speak for themselves. You shouldn't feel the need to always talk yourself up. Honestly, it's not that attractive anyway.
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