Okay so I know I say this every time, but my thoughts today seem even more raw than normal. Honestly, because an article about judging others has to come with being afraid of being judged yourself for publishing, right?? Well today is the day. A lot of built up emotion and thoughts/conversations on this topic has finally pushed me to the point of putting my feelings out there. Bear with me, I promise It's how I feel and you don't have to agree with me to understand where I'm coming from.
Recently I've had more than one conversation regarding faith-not just mine but others around me. I've discussed judgement day, my relationship with God, etc. The more I discussed it and the more I talked to God every day, the more emotional I seemed to get. I passed an article on Facebook not too long ago and didn't share it because it was about being a Christian-why I didn't share? Because I had someone tell me I haven't been living the perfect Christian lifestyle and I was afraid people would see I shared it and judge me because someone told me my heart hasn't been in the right place. How ridiculous is that on my part?? Being afraid that someone would judge me because I'm a Christian and I'm not perfect. That person doesn't hear my conversation with God daily. That person doesn't hear me asking God to forgive me and help me be better daily. So why was I so afraid that someone felt I wasn't living perfectly? Even though God tells me time and time again that he knows we aren't perfect and loves us anyways. He loves us in such a big way that I can't even fathom why I deserve to be loved like that. Why does a sinner like me deserve God grace and Gods love? I don't, but I'm so thankful for a forgiving God who gives it to me anyways. A God who loves me anyways. I have tears rolling typing this because I feel overwhelmed with the feeling of being flawed. Flawed to the point I feel like I disappoint the people I love the most. But the more I talk to God and the more I study my bible the more I see God demonstrating his love for people just as flawed as me. Even though I sometimes feel like the black sheep and sometimes feel like I'm not perfect, I remind myself that I'm never too far from home for God to open his arms to me. His love covers me every single day and for whatever reason I let someone judge me is beyond me. I promise whoever you feel like is judging you or telling you everything you're doing wrong, they won't answer for your flaws on judgment day. I PROMISE God is not going to ask you about anyone else's sins, so why not love people anyways? Your family member has tattoos? Cool love them anyways. Your co-worker is covered in piercings? Cool love them anyways. Your best friend is trying to get her life straight and you're watching her struggle, but give it everything she's got? Cool love them anyways. God does. God. Loves. Us. Anyways. Why is that such a hard concept? Is it the small town? Maybe. Is it because everyone knows everything about each other? Maybe. Is it because people feel the need to spread rumors and leave us consumed in the negative validation from others? Maybe. Regardless of all those things, God loves me anyways. God knows the reason for my divorce. God knows I've been struggling lately. God knows I feel like I've disappointed people I love the most. God knows I'm far from perfect and he loves me bigger than any of us could fathom. Gods love is so pure and so big, yet we don't even try to love people without conditions. It seems like more people sit and talk nasty about what other people are doing than discussing how to encourage them. How to show them the love the church will overwhelm them with. I have a church family that I love with my entire heart. A church family that encourages me, texts me, reaches out to me, etc. I'm so thankful for them, and I don't express that enough. There is plenty of positive vibes to outweigh the negative, so don't let the negative push you away. I promise you will not answer to those people on judgment day who are making remarks and telling you what to do better. You won't stand in front of anyone other than God when your day comes, so talk to him. He knows your heart, even on days you feel like you don't. I have those days more than I'd like to admit. I have days where I let the negative comments make me feel bitterness. I have days where I feel like I'll never be good enough, and then God reaches out and reminds me that isn't true. So today, I'm embracing my imperfection. Today I'm embracing my relationship with God being flawed. Today, I'm focusing on being better. If I happen to see a bible verse or article I can relate to, I'm sharing it. I'm done being mad at judgement from others, because my God knows my heart. I'm focusing even harder on loving people anyways, because Lord knows we all aren't perfect.
