There are times that I find myself completely overwhelmed, which I'm sure everyone can relate to in one form or another. For me, my anxiety takes over - that negative voice in my head that is constantly yelling and demanding that I've gotta do better, that I'm not doing enough, and that I'm letting everyone down. Sometimes, that voice gets to me. It weasels its way into my heart and it truly leaves me discouraged and honestly unable to believe in myself.
Just a few days ago, I was having one of those days. I'm an intern, and between working 40 hours a week at my internship site, having a social life, keeping my apartment clean, doing homework, and making time for myself...I let that voice in. I was driving down the road, and I just lost it - the tears started flowing and they just wouldn't stop. There I was, on the interstate, in a silent car with tears streaming down my face. Then, I reached for the radio dial - and I heard a song that brought me back to life.
"Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face, just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child?
Tell me where will you run, to where will you run?
'Cause I'll be by your side, wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you."
- By Your Side, Tenth Avenue North
In that moment, my whole world stopped. As I listened to the lyrics, I heard a voice from God telling me that He was with me and that he always would be. I heard a Father reminding his daughter that she wouldn't ever face anything alone. I heard the unconditional love of an incredible God coming through the speakers of my car, and I realized that I wasn't alone.
His love for us is incredible. It's unconditional, unfailing, and undeniable. We wake up every day because He gives us the breath in our lungs. We walk through this life because He has a plan for us. Most of all, I think that sometimes He overwhelms us, He gives us more than we can handle because He wants so desperately for us to remember that we NEED Him and that we can rely on Him to get us through even the hardest of times.
He is holding us, even at our weakest. He loves us, even at on our worst days. He will NEVER stop holding us, and He will NEVER stop loving us.
"Cause I, I love you, I want you to know
That I, yeah I love you, I'll never let you go."
I don't know about you, but I couldn't be more thankful for that.
