Perfection Doesn't Exist But We Should Always Work On Bettering Ourselves

Perfection Doesn't Exist But We Should Always Work On Bettering Ourselves

If you could wake up tomorrow morning with one thing about you being improved upon, what would it be?

The other day I was asked, “If you could wake up tomorrow morning with one thing about you being improved upon, what would it be?” Of course, my answer was the first thing I could think of. My fitness level.

Growing up I was always really active. As a little girl, I played soccer, took dance lessons, was on a swim team, played softball, took horse riding lessons, and was always ready to go to a playground or run around the yard with my cousins. As I aged all the sports, except swimming, faded from my life. Swimming was my best sport and frankly the most enjoyable for me. I had a whole team that quickly became my family and I feel at home in the water. By the age of seven I was a competitive swimmer; meaning I swam year round. By the age of eleven, I had practice for four hours a day, which left me little time for much else outside of school and homework.

Junior year of high school came around and I was burnt out from swimming. I needed a break from the pool being my second home and from always smelling like chlorine no matter how long I showered. Little did I know this “break” would last throughout college as well. I had officially “let myself go.” No longer being a swimmer and thinking my metabolism would keep up because I’m young wound up being a terrible combination. I wasn’t working out and ate like a college kid. I ate foods which would satisfy me but were also incredibly cheap. Hello, pasta!

On top of my bad eating and lack of exercise, I was diagnosed with a thyroid condition after having it for about 4 years and not knowing it; meaning when it came to weight gain, It’s like I really didn’t have a fighting chance. Now I’m 22 and with my thyroid condition under control, I’m frequently up in the gym working on my fitness, and I have changed my diet significantly. Although I’m still not at my goal, that’s ok! This is one area of my life where I want to improve upon and every little advance I make I feel like throwing a party for myself!

While fitness is currently my main focus for improvement, that does not mean every other aspect of my life is perfect. Here’s a list of things I would like to improve upon.

  1. Get a “big girl” job. The job market is a battlefield, my friends. Sometimes you get turned down and other times you turn down the employer because the job winds up not being a good fit for you. Keep trucking; the right job will come along at the right time!
  2. Pay better attention to the news. This one’s a hard one for me. I get bored very easily and typically don’t even make it through the weather segment, so when something important happens, I’m always the last to know.
  3. Read more. I have a list of books I want to read, I just haven’t.
  4. Regain self-confidence. For me, this one goes hand in hand with the fitness.
  5. Travel outside my comfort zone.
  6. Set a solid sleep pattern. Anyone who knows me knows that if I don’t get enough sleep I’m like a walking banshee; even with coffee.
  7. Correct my cursive handwriting. When learning cursive teachers always said that once in high school cursive is all that would be accepted. Wrong. In high school teachers said that in college professors would hand out zeros for anything not written in cursive. What a blatant lie that was. Here I am all these years later still always writing in print because my cursive sucks. I mean really all I want is for my signature to be pretty.
  8. Finish the scarf I started knitting two years ago. Here’s the thing, I used up the whole ball of yarn, the scarf is too short, and I don’t know how to add a new ball to my needle.
  9. Head back to the barn. This improvement is contingent on my “getting a big girl job” because you can’t ride without money when you don’t have a horse in your backyard.
  10. Learn more recipes. I like food, but now that I’m eating better a lot of my old recipes that I loved are now obsolete.

So, if you could wake up tomorrow morning with one thing about you being improved upon, what would it be?

Cover Image Credit: pixabay

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To The Man Who Catcalled Me

You've probably already forgotten about me, but I can't forget about you.

Dear Asshole,

First of all, screw you.

I don't know you, but you tried talking to me anyway.

You thought you had a right to raise your voice and call to me--as if I'm a dog, as if I should listen when you speak. You don't deserve my attention.

Unfortunately, I heard every word that passed through your lips.

You went out of your way to make me feel small. I pretended not to hear what you said, but I carried it with me the entire way home.

You probably forgot about it, but your words echoed in my ears for hours. Your stupid comment caused me more pain than I'd like to admit.

How dare you take a few seconds of your life to waste hours of mine.

You made me feel dirty in my own skin.

I went home and didn't want to look at myself in the mirror because all I could feel was shame.

I wondered if I could've done something differently to avoid you--wore less makeup, maybe; anything to avoid comments like yours.

It's not me that's the problem, though. It's you. What kind of man behaves the way that you did? Your words were hurtful, whether or not you intended them to be.

You took my self-confidence and my peace of mind away from me in a matter of seconds.

Before you, I felt good.

I wasn't doing anything to deserve your attention--I was just waiting at a traffic light.

It doesn't matter what I was doing, really. You had no reason to call out to me, to speak to me with no regard for my humanity, but you did it anyway.

You've probably already forgotten about me, but I can't forget about you.

The amount of time I've spent thinking about what you said is far more than you deserve.

You don't deserve a letter. You deserve a kick in the balls.

Regardless, this is a message for you, or men like you, who think that catcalling complete strangers is okay.

Attention all assholes:

I am female, but that does not mean that I am fragile.

My body is not yours. It is no one else's. It is mine.

Sexualizing my body is not a compliment.

I am more than a body. I am a person. I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a lover.

I don't deserve to be talked to like a piece of meat.

I am not here for your pleasure.

I am tired of being just a body. Women are tired of being just bodies. We are more than that--we are smart, we are strong, we are worthy of respect.

If you cannot speak to women with respect, you do not deserve to speak at all.

I hope you think about what you said, even for a moment.

I hope you never speak to another woman the way you spoke to me.

I hope you realized something from this experience, like I did.

Because you catcalled me, I remembered my worth.


A Woman Who's Tired Of This Shit

Cover Image Credit: Nicole Borneman

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I'm Headed Back To The Water

Water Is Home. Just Dive In.

When I was a little girl my grandfather and mama taught me how to swim. I fell in love with the water and frankly, swimming was something I excelled at. They taught me how to swim before I could walk. Once I was a little bit older my parents quickly enrolled me in Red Cross swim lessons at a local pool. By the age of four I was swimming on a summer league team, and by eight, I was swimming competitively year round.

The water is where I feel at home. I’m not clumsy or awkward. I move fluidly with strength and speed. When I’m in the water, the world disappears. I get to be in my own head, working towards a goal while not worrying about my surroundings. So, I’m headed back to the water.

I know I will not be swimming the way I once did. I’m not looking to be a competitive swimmer again. I have no desire to wake up before the crack of dawn to hop in an icy cold pool. I’m going back to the water to find myself again. To find the girl who had a lot more confidence than I currently do. To find the girl who trusted her body to make the right movements and get her to where she needed to be. I’m looking to find the physical strength and endurance I once had that has since been lost.

When in the water, I feel safe because of the confidence I have in my ability, but also because I trust my body. I’ve never been scared that I would drown because I knew my body would get me back to the wall or would automatically bring me to the surface. I don’t place the same trust in my body while on land. I’m much more clumsy; it doesn't matter if I’m walking or running. I’ve fallen down the stairs, up the stairs, and tripped over my own feet.

When I stopped swimming, I lost myself. I think it’s time I find myself again.

Cover Image Credit: Maxwell Gifted on Unsplash

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