Yes, this is your stereotypical sad post about how things aren't going right. Life does suck, but hopefully this will make you feel better about yourself. It's OK not have it all together. In fact, I had a completely different topic to talk about this week, but life just got in the way. It gets too real, and you have to remember to take a step back and take care of yourself.
It's especially awful for the teenagers, but adults go through the stress of not having it together. It's as if we're put on this planet to just wander around for a short while before we're done, and most of us can't even begin to figure out why we are here before it's too late. I don't mean to pose all these existential thoughts to be a downer. I'm just generally curious as to why life has to be so harsh. It's not fun to feel so confused and alone all the time.
How do those who are successful manage to act as if they have it all together? You never see those with power and status freaking out over the small, superficial things, and yet here I am with crippling anxiety trying to pay off student loans and searching for a job and taking care of myself. I can't even manage to hang out with a friend or two on any given weekend. No one warned me for this harsh reality. I was told being an adult is fun because you get to eat whatever you want and stay up late at night talking with your friends. No one ever told me I'd have to worry about deteriorating health and the never-ending "what if" questions that haunt you in the wee hours of the morning when your friends won't talk to you.
I would wish to be at a later part of my life when things are better and in place, but I'm honestly beginning to believe that those days don't exist. There is always something to stress over. While I'm much more capable of handling these situations as an adult, I still feel I am not prepared when the next problem comes along. If I don't know what life is all about, then what is motivating me to even try so hard?
Now, I do believe in better chances. As silly as it sounds after all of this, I do believe in the trend of life "getting better" because you learn to handle all of the stressors of the world. It's difficult, but I need something to keep me motivated. If my purpose in life is to just hop from one thing to the other with no break then so be it. I refuse to believe I was put on Earth to suffer and then leave. If being distracted by stupid tasks gives my life a sense of purpose, then I will take it.
It sounds morbid to only be living just to exist, and yet I find it all okay. Maybe this is just how life is supposed to work. The underdog doesn't always have to start from the bottom and work their way to millionaire status. Maybe my life goal is to just be an average joe who goes to work, makes a steady living, and has a nice family. There's nothing wrong with that as long as it's purposeful. So I'm standing up and accepting my better chance, even if it's just about creating a simple, quiet life.
