Why The “Best Four Years Of Your Life” Saying Is BS

Why The “Best Four Years Of Your Life” Saying Is BS

If people could stop saying this, that'd be great.

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People are always saying that high school or college are "the best four years of your life". Everything about this saying frustrates me. I think it implies that you basically get four years either when you are 14-18 years old or 18-22 years old to live your best life and if that doesn't happen, well sorry about your luck, but you missed out. All throughout high school adults would tell me that these would be the best four years of my life, and I was always daunted by that statement.

It made me feel pressure to enjoy every single day because my life wouldn't get better than those four years, and to think that or much less say that is completely ridiculous. To be quite frank, I did not enjoy high school and I would not go back. Those could not possibly be the best four years of my life. Not to discredit all the good memories and experience I did have, but I always have expected more out of my life than what gave me joy as a 16-year-old who had a curfew. Once I felt that the pressure was off when I graduated high school and I could live life without the pressure of making it the "best", adults started saying the exact same thing about college and how that would be the best four years of my life.

Now, I could have been excited that I was being given another four years to make my best, but again there is that level of pressure. It's so easy whenever life isn't going your way to think, "Is this really what is supposed to be the best four years of my life?" Again, this is not to take away from the fun I have had at college, but I think to put this unattainable, unreachable pressure of the best years is just ridiculous. I'm sure I will look back and love the life I was living, but there is something paralyzing about focusing on a certain time period in one's life to be the best.

I would like to think that all the years in my life are going to have moments that make them the best. I don't want to be pigeonholed into thinking I am living or have already lived the best years of my life. I think there is a danger in this line of thinking to where if you think the best has already happened to you, where is the motivation to succeed and better yourself. Yes, right now these years are probably the years where we will have the least responsibility, but what about the years you get to spend with your future family and all the remaining years you have left in your life? I think it is doing a great disservice to your life to narrow down the best years to the years we live so early on. So much self-growth takes place throughout adulthood, and when we grow we only get better, which to me means all of our years have the potential to be great.

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You May Have Worn The Prom Dress With Him, But I Get To Wear The Wedding Dress

You had him in high school, but I get him for the rest of my life.
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High school seems like the best time of your life when you are in it. You think that all of your friends will be with you until the end, and that you will end up with whoever you are dating your senior year. For very few, that might just be the case. For all others, that is far from true.

You thought that you would marry your boyfriend and you thought that everything would work out how you had always imagined. I don't blame you though. He's great. You wanted everything with him, but you were just not right for him.

I wish I could say that I am sorry it didn't work out for you, but I can't. I can't because he is mine now, and I get to cherish him forever. You didn't do that right, and you were not meant to be together. You will find someone too, but I am happy that you were not the one for him.

Sometimes I have issues with jealousy, and I hate that you got all of the high school stuff with him. You got to go to games and support him. It kills me that I couldn't be there for him because I know I would have actually been there wholeheartedly. I would have done it out of love, not as a popularity appearance.

I hate that you got to go to all of the school dances with him. He got to see you all dressed up and probably told you how great you looked. I'm sure you did look great. Prom dresses were always fun to pick out and so colorful. It was exciting to match colors with your date. I am sure you had fun choosing his matching tux to your dress.

I find myself getting jealous, but then I stop. I am getting to match his tux with our wedding colors. I got to go dress shopping in a sea of white, and he doesn't get to know one detail about that dress yet. He will get to see me walk down the aisle and then every day forever. I get to love him forever.

I try to not get jealous of all of the things you got with him because it is all in the past. You had your time, and now I get the wedding. You got to dress up in high school, but I get to dress up for my wedding with him. He may have put a corsage on your wrist, but he will be putting the wedding ring on my finger.

Cover Image Credit: Jessy Scott

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I Expected It To Have It All Together By 22 And I'm Still Far From That

What we expected and what reality actually is, are two completely different things...

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Oh our 20s, how we expected them to be so different. We expected to graduate college at 22, have a career by 23, be engaged by 24, married with a house by 25, kids by 26-28, vacationing with the family by 30, and retired by 60. We expected college to be parties and cute boys/girls. Instead, we got late nights of studying and crying after a job that barely pays for our car, food, dorm, and textbooks. We get no social life and if we do our grades suffer for it.

Our 20s were expected to be all fun but all we got were struggles and stress. I mean I don't know about you but I expected, to have it all together and I'm nearly 23 and far from it. I had all the scholarships and great grades, and I still don't have any type of degree.

Reality hits after 18. Most of us don't have the help of mom and dad anymore. We have to find our way and make a path for ourselves. Sometimes our dreams and goals have to be put on hold for that. The 20s isn't fun. It's about discovering who you are, who you want to be, and where you want to go. Some of us serve our country, some become incarcerated, some of us parents, some teachers, others cops, others travel or study abroad, some dead, some ill, other managers, others homeless, some still living home, and some even addicts.

The weird thing about your 20s is everyone is doing something different, but yet everyone is confused and comparing themselves to others. People feel if they're not doing what others are doing, in their age group then they have failed themselves. What people forget is that with life comes obstacles and sacrifice and everyone's life and situations are different. You are where you need to be right now, for you, and I think that's something to remember in your 20s.

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Another thing about your 20's is you're free to think for yourself now. No more having to follow a religion you dislike or hold back from things you love. The world is literally yours to discover and learn from. Possibilities are endless! I think your 20's are the years you create yourself to the best version of you and build the foundation for your future. Just remember, we all build at our own pace.

Signed,

The lost 22-year old that believes in you

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