For some, moving on is as easy as deleting a number. However, for some people, letting go of someone that you really care about is very hard to do and I am one of those people. I have been filled with anguish and hurt from past relationships and I've, surprisingly, still managed to be alright in the end.
I thought that I would never get over the sense of loss, confusion, and heartbreak that I've experienced a multitude of times in the past but, I am proof that your life does go on and you will be happy again. I've learned so much through the recovery process that moving on requires and after all of these tough learning curves, I'm blessed to share the quickest, healthiest, and smartest ways to move on with all of you that may be struggling to do so.
1. Realize that you do not want anyone that does not want you.
Please consider the fact that wanting someone who does not want you is really not in your best interest. Right after someone that you care about or even love decides that they want to leave your life, try to find comfort in the fact that having someone in your life that does not truly want to be there will eventually be detrimental to you. Anyone that stays in your life regardless of not wanting to be there may start to abuse or your presence.
For example, they may disengage from the conversations that you have or disassociate with how you feel about the relationship. They might abuse you and your presence by cheating or treating you however they feel like it instead of cherishing, appreciating, and truly enjoying the moments that they have with you. Therefore, just let them walk away.
2. You better spend time with loved ones!
I want to share my favorite way to get over someone after they decide to walk away. Consider going wherever the most love is especially when you don't feel as lovable because of the unrequited love you have for your love interest. Go to environments where your presence is wanted and appreciated. Surround yourself with the people in your life that truly love and care about you.
Spending time with my friends has always made me realize how much I'm truly cared about and how much my personality and way of being is accepted and loved. If you are only paying attention to individuals who don't know how they want to treat you and don't know if they even want you in their lives then you forget about the people who actually desire and value your presence. Once you focus on the people who accept you full-heartedly, then it will be easier to let go of someone who doesn't.
3. Talk to people who have been in your shoes.
It's very easy to feel like the only one hurting because you are so focused on your own pain. However, you would be surprised at the number of people that have been through something similar to you. I've vented to friends and family members about certain things involving my love life and to my surprise, they have been through the same things that I've been too ashamed to even admit aloud. Knowing that you are not alone when it comes to the woes of relationships gives you a sense of relief and helps you feel like the sour things that may happen in your life are not an anomaly.
4.Transfer your emotional energy into something you can control.
You can't control whether or not a person wants to stay in your life but, you can channel the emotions you get from their departure and use them to your benefit. Use the hurt that you feel like a driving force to accomplish your goals. If you find yourself getting emotional about a failed relationship, try writing down how you exactly how you feel. You can channel the hurt you may feel and use it as a driving force behind your career, your studies, or your physical health.
If you find yourself letting the pain get the best of you, go to the gym, take a walk, make a song about it, dance, or write about it. There are countless amounts of artists who have made money off of a song about a painful life experience. People write books and articles based off of painful life experiences. If you are going to go hurt, you might as well help others and replenish yourself financially from it.
5. Block them out on EVERY level.
This tip is the hardest to go through with for some; it's not for the faint of heart. I recommend that you only take this route if you are 100 % serious about moving on from this person, if the person you are trying to get over is still messaging you, and if it has been 30 days and you still have the urge to reach out. If you asked yourself if all of the above applies to you and you said "yes" then block their phone number and all of their social media accounts forever. For me and some others, this is the most rigorous way to moving on and it is the hardest but, it is the most effective if you follow through.
