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I'm The Girl Who Will ALWAYS Put 'Sisters Before Misters'

In the future, I know that when I start dating I won't forget that my best girl friends come first.

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As Valentine's Day comes up next month, and I am sitting on a couch watching a Buzzfeed Unsolved marathon of season one of "True Crime" and "Supernatural," I think back to the past year and my history with my love life. The more I think about it, the more I am fine with it.

Nothing major has happened. I still haven't had my first kiss, or my first significant other, still a virgin, and all is fine.

This can be seen as a follow up to my article where I talked about how I am 19, never had a significant other, and I am still having the time of my life. Now, as I am in a new decade of my life (yes, I'm talking about my twenties), nothing much has changed.

But now I am in a point where I am sticking with a phrase. That phrase is the well-known "sisters before misters."

A feminine play on the phrase "bros before hoes," where male friends say that their friends come first and any significant other, specifically female, comes second, "sisters before misters" means that female friends come first before any significant others, specifically of the male species. A majority of my friends are girls and while I do also have friends that are guys (hi, Sean and Josh), I know that I will never think of dating them in the future as they are like brothers to me.

But I know that when I get into my first relationship, I will definitely make time for my friends.

A while ago, I was (maybe still am) texting a guy that is close friends with one of my other close friends. My friend and I have established that if I were to get into a relationship with this guy, she knows that she can trust him with me (but if he hurts me, then he is dead). But another thing that we had established was that I was hers first and then his second, no matter how many times he said I was his, and even I said that she came first hands down.

Yes, I know that I have been single for 20 years of my life. Yes, I also dabbled a bit in dating apps like Tinder and sometimes Bumble. I only went back to Tinder after a year of not having, but after the small dabble I did in 2018 I decided to stop doing Tinder. But I still have it just in case (or if I am just a bored college student and I have nothing to do in my life which I definitely do have the stuff to do in my life).

But as time goes on for me, and I continue to get older and go through the rest of my college career, I do not know when I will find my quote-unquote "one." It could be during college, or it could be after college and I meet my one and only at my place of work (where my parents met), but I would just know that I will make sure to place my lady friends that have been there for a good point of my life first.

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An Open Letter To The Person Wondering If They Should Stay

It’s okay to be afraid, to look back, and to wonder if you made the right decision.

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Dear Someone,

If you're reading this, you're probably torn. Maybe you feel as if you're overreacting, hypersensitive, or just outgrowing your former needs. You're wondering, "Should I stay?". The answer is simple: no. If it keeps you up at night, makes you feel like less of a person, or tempts you to stay in bed all day, then you should leave. Whether it's a job, relationship, friendship, institution, extracurricular activity, sorority or fraternity, if it makes you question your worth, leave.

Sometimes it isn't easy to just pick up and leave. A decision like that should not be made out of anger, or on a whim. Give it some thought, but don't let it consume you. Ask yourself, "What does this person/thing/place bring to my life?" If you're an optimist, you will think of the good times; if you're a pessimist, you'll think of the bad. The key to letting go is to think of both the good and the bad. Appreciate the growth, but acknowledge the setbacks.

It's easy to say, "I'm done", but it isn't easy to be done. It's okay to be afraid, to look back, and to wonder if you made the right decision. It is human nature to question yourself, but instead of asking, "Why did I do this?", ask, "How can I grow from this?" As humans, we compete with each other and we discredit ourselves more than we believe in ourselves. Competition kills, and it doesn't nurture self-improvement; rather it breeds resentment and a false sense of comfort.

Competition isn't always internal, people will try to compete with you. Sure, everyone has a bad moment, but if their bad moment(s) turn in to a bad friendship, leave. It's harsh, it hurts, but sometimes it's necessary. We're social creatures, we thrive in companionship; not all companionship is good.

Some of us are romantics, which makes leaving a romantic relationship difficult. This person can be the love of your life, your best friend and your family all in one; often it is hard to live life without them. It's okay to miss them, but it isn't okay to run back to them. You must remember that they left your life for a reason. They were great for a time, but they aren't good for you anymore, and that's okay.

Life is short, spend it in the right places with the right people. Above all, remember that no unfortunate situation is worth your happiness.

Best,

A Friend Who's Been There Before.

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