For those who do not know, it is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week, known better as NEDA week to guys and gals in the eating disorder community. This is a time to give a little extra support and high five to everyone who is living with eating disorders. To anyone who doesn't know too much about or doesn't have first-hand experience with eating disorders, every day is a battle. Progress is rollercoaster-like, and victories, no matter how small, deserve to be celebrated. Coming from Long Island, I tend to joke that "everyone and their mothers have an eating disorder," but it is something that has turned into a way of life. We are virtually desensitized to the severity of it and how debilitating it can be. So, here it is. A letter to everyone struggling with eating disorders (past, present, and future) during NEDA week addressed specifically to my immensely strong and beautiful best friend.
“Nothing in nature blooms all year. Be patient with yourself.”
-Karen Salmansohn
To my best friend (who happens to have an eating disorder),
You are many things. You are funny, forgetful, strong, kindhearted, intelligent, talented beyond belief, artistic, weird, loving, and so many other things. Having an eating disorder is just one of those things. It does not and never will define you, but knowing you has taught me that it is a part of who you are and will continue to be a part of who you become.
I have had the pleasure of watching you through your recovery. We have tried countless challenge foods together, I have wiped up tears, and even called you out when I know you are trying to trick me about what you had to eat that day. You constantly say you are so annoying, but I never see it that way. Though sometimes it is frustrating, it is never annoying. I could never imagine being in your head and hearing all these conflicting voices. Knowing what is right, but having another part of you so actively telling you to go against it.
You constantly praise me for "how much I do to help you," but I never tell you how much you have helped me. Telling you that you are beautiful and that you have to love your body teaches me to do it for myself. Seeing someone, I love going through this makes me push the messages I tell you onto other friends and myself. Your positivity is something that (though I do not fully understand) I admire and strive to spread as much as you do.
I want you to know that every word I have ever said to you is the full and complete truth. You are beautiful inside and out and deserve nothing less than the best. It truly pains me and confuses me to hear how you don't see what the world sees. You hate your smile, but it is one of my favorite sights. Your body is just the shell you are living in, and you must turn it into a home. It does so much for you, and you deserve to nourish it. Food is your friend, not your enemy. You are your friend, not your enemy.
Recovery is a roller coaster, and I am along for the ride. I celebrate your accomplishments and help you pick yourself up after the not so great days. I believe fully that there will be a day where you love every part of yourself. I cannot wait to be there to share it with you. You are truly stronger than you let yourself believe. I love you so much and will say and do whatever it takes for you to do the same. So here's to more ice cream cones, positive posters, 1 am calls, the peaks, and the falls. Life is a journey, that is true, but there is no one I would rather share it with than you.
Love,
Your best friend (on what happens to be NEDA week)
Writer's Note: Though this was a more ~personal letter~ it applies to anyone and everyone. Whether you have an eating disorder (diagnosed or undiagnosed) or just have trouble seeing the beauty that reflects back at you. Know that it is ok just to be you! There are tons of people who love you and think you are beautiful inside and out. So spread the love and girl power. Remind your friends how much you love them and how beautiful you know they are. Everyone deserves to feel great and hear how magnificent they are, whether it's NEDA week or not.
