Here are some of my favorite dad jokes, just in case you needed a good laugh.
1. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye-deer!
2. What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
3. Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole-in-one!
4. If April showers bring May flowers, what do you May flowers bring?
Pilgrims.
5. Guess who I saw today.
Everyone I looked at!
6. What do you call a fish wearing a bow tie?
So-fish-ticated.
7. I'm afraid for the calendar.
Its days are numbered.
8. Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
9. What do you call a pudgy psychic?
A four-chin teller.
10. Want to know why nurses like red crayons?
Because sometimes they have to draw blood.
11. Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because they use a honeycomb!
12. What do you call an angry musician flipping someone off?
A songbird!
13. What's the most detail-oriented ocean?
The Pacific.
14. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?
Because if they flew over the bay, we'd call them bagels!
15. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don't know y.
16. What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus!
17. What does the sprinter eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast!
18. How do you get a squirrel to like you?
You act like a nut!
19. What do you call a body with no nose?
Nobody knows!
20 Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
21. What did one hat say to another?
Stay here, I'm going on ahead.
22. Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot!
23. The graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in.
24. Why didn't the skeleton climb the mountain?
He didn't have the guts!
25. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
26. How do you make a tissue dance?
You Put a little boogie in it!
27. What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
28. Do you want a box for your leftovers?
No, but I'll wrestle you for them!
29. Swimming with sharks is expensive.
It costs an arm and a leg!
30. Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?
He won a 'no-bell' prize!
