The best four years of your life. That's what college is made out to be. You grow up hearing the stories and the memories, and you can't wait until it is your time to leave home and experience the magic that is *college*. Growing up with two older siblings (six and four years older than myself), I always felt one step ahead of where I was at my current age. I was attending middle school dances and learning how to navigate the world of caddy girls, while talking to my older sister about her joining a sorority and studying abroad. I absolutely LOVED my hometown and my high school, but I could not wait to be fully emerged into college life, after all- it was going to be the best four years of my life!!!
There are a few things that 'they' (whoever 'they' may be,) forgot to mention about the start to these four years. Yes, as an overall clump of time, college is most likely the most fun, crazy, and irreplaceable four years of your life. But there are some bumps along the way that I wish I had known about. Fall of Freshman year is a hard time for a lot of people. You have these major hopes and expectations of a magical college world where you will meet your best friends, and future bridesmaids, immediately. You expect to fall into the perfect social scene for you, and to never want to leave, BUT- let's be realistic here, someone has GOT to start clueing these poor Freshman into the reality of starting off at college!
As a sophomore, I now love my school more than anything. I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and that I really do have the best friends by my side, but it took a little while to get to this point. I know it's too late for me to go back and warn myself of a few realities that I had to face, but I now feel a slight responsibility for warning future Freshman about a few things that I think may help them.
1. You will most likely not find your best friends in the first few weeks of college.
Relationships worth keeping take some time to create. Don't stress if you aren't totally obsessed with the first people you meet. Join a club that you're interested in or rush a sorority or fraternity- those will be the friends who are most similar to you. If you have shared interests, it becomes easier to find a natural forming connection, so get out of your dorm and go find something you're passionate about. As soon as you do that, your real friends will fall into place.
2. There will always be someone more attractive than you.
That's just part of life. Self-Confidence is something that I struggled immensely with during my first semester of college. I was overwhelmed by all of the beautiful, skinny, tan, and well-dressed girls roaming around campus. Quite frankly- I felt like a troll in comparison. But then I realized something. If I was going to spend my time feeling badly for myself for not looking like something that is so not me, WHY would anyone want to be my friend?! If you exert confidence, others will see you in a higher light. Self-Confidence is all about perception. If people perceive you to be a confident and proud individual, then how could they not want to spend time with you? Who cares if you don't look like every other girl on campus? That's what makes you so freakin' awesome.
3. There will always be someone more successful than you.
See above, but insert *successful* in replacement of *attractive.*
4. You will probably experience some bodily changes. And you may not like them.
Constant food. Constant Beer. Lack of sleep. It's inevitable that your body will change when you get to college. To those people who miraculously drop a ton of weight- congratulations to you, please teach me your ways. But for the rest of us normal people- please do not get too down on yourself if you pack on a few pounds. This is a totally normal reality of the start of college and you cannot let it get you down. Remember to work out, practice some self control, and don't take money with you when you go out because then you'll be less inclined to order a four-course meal for yourself at 3:00 in the morning. If your campus has a main street or area that is jam-packed with restaurants, try to avoid walking through it as much as you can in order to reduce your temptation to indulge. Not to mention- this will help you save major $.
5. There will be A LOT of alone time.
Try not to spend it all watching Netflix. Go walk down the hall and get to know one of your hall mates a little bit better, they're probably just as bored and lonely as you are. It takes one person to make the first move in avoiding this loneliness. Go for a walk and smile at the people you pass by, it's crazy how much one simple smile can brighten your day and help you gain a new, and more positive, perspective.
6. You will cry.
Probably a lot. With a new environment comes new adjustments. You may be sharing a room for the first time in your life, or you may be super stressed out about your schoolwork- whatever it may be- crying is OK! I love a good cry, crying releases so much stress and pressure, and sometimes it is really okay to just let it all out. BUT- Once the crying is over, it's time to jump back onto your high horse and get shit done.
7. You're going to miss your home friends, a lot.
If you grew up in a town at all like mine, then you've probably had a majority of the same friends throughout your entire life. All of a sudden, you go off to college and it's an abrupt, "Bye, see you at Thanksgiving," to the people you have been accustomed to spending every day with since you were five years old. I promise- they will miss you just as much as you will miss them. It is so SO important that you try to remain in contact with them, because when you're feeling down in the dumps, they will always be there for you. You must remember that you are all experiencing this same new phenomenon of being strangers in a new place, but you always have each other just a phone call or a text away to remind you of the comfort of home and friends who truly care.
8. It's normal to need to talk with your parents at least once a day.
They want nothing more than too talk to you too! Parents struggle with the balance between letting you go live your own life, and wanting to make sure you are okay at every second of the day. Never feel discouraged if you miss a day of talking to them, they're probably having a hard time gauging the level of independence that you want. Never be embarrassed or discouraged from calling mom and dad, they won't let you down.
9. Walking into classes on the first day will always be uncomfortable.
Even as an upperclassman, this feeling probably won't go away. There's nothing more awkward than walking into a huge lecture hall and having to decide where to sit and who to sit next to. Take my advice- talk to people in your classes! They're all feeling just as weird about this as you are, and you could be the one to break the ice for everyone around you. You never know the friendships you could be missing if you're too scared to say a simple hello.
10. It may feel like you will never find 'your place.'
Be patient, you will find it, I promise. And if for some reason you don't? Transfer and try it again. No harm done. :)
I write this article not to discourage you, but to encourage you! I am here to help you realize that what you will be feeling is totally normal and expected, even if others haven't warned you about it. :)
With that, future Freshman, I wish you the best of luck. Please remember that throughout all the hype of starting college, it is still okay to be a real person. College really is the best four CUMULATIVE years of your life, you just gotta push through those tough first moments until you find your place!
Good luck little ones, you'll do great things.
