I Choose Me, Everytime, Always

I Choose Me, Everytime, Always

The single life is so beneficial to me that I won't give it up any time soon.


I have many, many, many goals in life: get my bachelor's degree in publishing, find a job editing books, move on to edit comics or scripts for Marvel (fingers are so tightly crossed that they're wrapped around each other and double knotted for that one), go to Paris so I can be like Audrey Hepburn in "Sabrina," to make enough money to afford whatever I want from Tiffany's (another Audrey dream), and to go to Italy, where my great-grandmother came from in the twenties.

I also have a ridiculous amount of unrealistic goals as well, but I won't delve into those because, unfortunately, I rewind time to prevent the emotional instability that Marvel has caused me...so yeah, they're very much a wish. Also...being another foot taller would be nice too…being above five feet would be such an adventure.

Now, I bet that some of you have noticed that something is missing from the things I've rambled on about above. If you've thought "What about a relationship? Getting married?", then yes, you are one hundred and ten percent correct. Here's my mentality about this, and hopefully I can explain it well enough that it makes sense:

My happiness, my goals, and my career come first. Always.

Before you say anything, here's where the explaining comes in! I've spent my life putting everyone else's happiness and needs before my own, and there's really not much wrong with that, save select situations. I was raised to have a servant's heart. To be something that I wasn't comfortable being. As I've gotten older, my independent nature has grown along with me. And, to the surprise of most, I've never had too much desire to be in a relationship. I've always just thought about what I want out of life now that I can actually be what I chose.

Let me say now, there's no way that I'm going to be giving that up anytime soon. I crave freedom and independence. I crave adventure, travel, and just...life. I can't let a significant other hold me back from what I want in life...and I can't possibly make them sacrifice what they want so I can have my life either. I cannot put in the effort, time, and patience that maintaining that kind of relationship deserves to have. So, I choose to not be in a relationship. I can't continue to let things burden me down and keep me from being my best self.

While friends, family, and other loved ones are extremely important to me, those are easy to manage and they all encourage my growth and goals. They know my heart and mind, so they know how determined I am when I have my mind set on something.

So yes, I am very much single. No, I really don't desire a relationship...to have a man, as many of my customers put it. I choose my education. I choose my career. I choose my life.

And for once, I choose me.

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4. Listen to her.


Some days, it seems like girlfriends are constantly asking for more, and while they may be annoying, there are a few simple ways to stop her nagging and win her praise.

1. Pay attention to her.

I promise you, she is dropping hints every day. These may sound like "Awh, look at all the pretty flowers" or "I haven't been to Boba House in so long!"

2. Plan dates. 

Text her while she is at school or work, and tell her to be ready when you get home or by a certain time. Give her an idea of how dressed up she should be, but don't tell her where you're going. Then, take her to her favorite restaurant, one she's mentioned lately, or to a new movie she'd been looking forward to!

3. Pick up small gifts for her.

This doesn't have to be anything expensive, but next time you're at the grocery store pick up her favorite candy, or a small flower bouquet. Just something little that will show her you were thinking of her when you weren't together.

4. Listen to her. 

Ask about her day, and when she tells you what Sarah did at work, ask her the next day or a few days later if things got better. Take interest in her life and remind her occasionally refer back to old topics to prove you do listen.

5. Get her involved in your interests.

It doesn't all have to be about her! Ask her to watch the game with you, or to go out with you to hang with your friends. She wants to be just as involved in your life as she wants you to be involved in hers!

At the end of the day, every relationship is different. Take this advice as vaguely as needed, and learn your partner and what they expect from you! Happy dating! :)

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'Sierra Burgess Is A Loser,' And So Am I

The latest of the Netflix rom-coms, "Sierra Burgess Is A Loser" spoke to me for reasons other than the relationship.


When I watched "The Kissing Booth" and "To All The Boys I've Loved Before," I watched them for the sole purpose of enjoying them. I watched "Sierra Burgess Is A Loser" because I wanted a distraction from my reality for a little while. I thought it would be a mindless two hours.

Instead, I found myself really emotional while watching it.

As Sierra struggled to fit in, I found myself remembering how I felt coming into high school and then again while coming into college. I don't really make friends easily, and while I haven't really been bullied since freshman year of high school, Sierra's struggles with being bullied and picked on for how she looks and acts really hit home. Even being far removed from my own experiences, the feelings all came rushing back to me.

Her sole friend at the beginning of the movie is Dan. He accepts her how she is and does the typical best friend things. Yes, he makes jokes at her expense (as many friends do), but he also supports her in all things. She tries out for the boy's track team, and Dan joins her. He doesn't let her wallow in self-pity.

Just as real friends though, he can't do everything. As she loses herself in the middle of the film, Dan distances himself. She doesn't accept his help, and he's hurt by her actions. I'd be lying if I hadn't done that to multiple friends. I didn't have many friends before high school (and even in high school), and I often hurt them without really thinking.

I understand her lack of self-confidence (it's something I still struggle with.) I understand comparing yourself to cheerleaders. I understand looking at myself in the mirror and not seeing what people wanted to see.

It isn't a fun feeling. In the movie, Sierra's feelings push her to attack one of her new friends because she believes that this friend is getting what Sierra wants. While I don't think I've done what Sierra did, I've definitely lashed out when my friends "got" a guy I liked or got a role that I wanted in a musical.

Right near the end, Sierra writes a song called Sunflower. If you haven't heard it, google it. I almost started crying while I listened to it in the movie. I have often felt like a sunflower in a world that wants roses.

This movie isn't perfect. In fact, there is an extremely problematic plotline where she pretends to be deaf to avoid talking to Jamey, her crush. Not cool. But in the grand scheme of rom-coms, this was one of the few where I didn't care what happened between Sierra and Jamey. I cared how Sierra thought about herself. I cared about if she and her friends made up.

I'm still struggling with some of the feelings Sierra struggles with, so I think part of the reason I liked this movie so much is that it ends with her fighting through her problems and trying to find the beauty in being Sierra and not Veronica.

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